Thursday is of course the worst day of the week because you can taste the weekend but you’re still a full two days away. Those who consider Monday to be the worst day are inferior and superficial people who probably think that modern comedians are funny. Monday is of course not the best day but you are under no illusions that you deserve another weekend because you have just enjoyed one. Of course, if your weekends consist of you yelling at the local kids to get the hell off your lawn perhaps you’re justified in your shallowness.
This morning, this Thursday morning, I glanced at the news headlines to see the usual dose of depressing items masquerading as fake news, or was that fake news masquerading as truth? It’s hard to tell any more. An assortment of headlines from the front page of The Australian went as follows: