Just in case it wasn’t already clear, here is a blog post entitled:
I thought it was a parody until I started going through the comments section.
In point form and with original quotes in italics:
Once again I troll the interwebs for the good shit so you don’t have to.
It’s the moochers and cronyists that need to be guillotined.
I particularly like the part where he comes back when the kiddies are getting changed. No LGBTUILZZ slippery slope here, folks.
Camel botherers making hay while the sun shines.
Humanities wish to break from the past because they know the founding fathers were better men than they are.
Have you ever known a good recruiter? No, I didn’t think so.
Sexual dancing granny has to be seen to be believed.
If you don’t like treating trauma victims then why the fuck did you become a trauma doctor?
I have high hopes that Mike Cernovich will do something great here.
Smart man; he knows which way the wind is blowing.
The 5th trait of the modern man on our list of 28:
The modern man never orders a bottle of wine that can be opened without a corkscrew.
Old world wine producers overwhelmingly use cork while new world producers predominately use screw-caps. You can argue as much as you like about which is better for storing wine but the difference in attitude towards which option to use comes down to one thing:
It’s time for number four on our list of the 28 traits of the modern man:
The modern man works out.
A lot of the traits on the list are mental or psychological, but this trait is purely about the body. Mind you, you have to have good mental strength to be disciplined enough to achieve good results. Being masculine is not just in your head – it’s in your body too. You can lift, rock climb, kayak, row, box, throw kettleballs, whatever you want as long as it builds muscle and makes you physically strong. I’m not talking cardio here, so all you runners can go and take a running jump.
So we continue our fascinating exploration of what I consider to be the essential 28 traits of the modern man with trait number three:
The modern man does not say sorry.
The modern man has been under assault by hostile forces for many years now. The third wave of feminism is largely responsible, but a good many men have been traitors to the cause, eagerly falling over themselves to ingratiate with the enemy in the small chance that they might score a consolation root. Twenty years ago men were told to be ‘sensitive new age guys’, then they were told to be ‘metro-sexuals’, now apparently we need to be ‘male-feminists’.
Do this now – extricate the word ‘sorry’ from your vocabulary. In ages past it was a word for good, but now it is one of the biggest traps the modern man can fall into. That word can literally destroy a modern man’s life.
Continuing with our theme of discovering the 28 traits of the modern man, we have the 2nd trait: The modern man shaves every day.
There is a scene in the Robert Di Nero film, The Intern, where the always elegantly attired Di Nero character is asked by his scruffy twenty-something colleagues, (who look as if they’ve just dragged themselves out of bed on a Sunday morning), if he shaves every day.
Yes, he replies. Every day.
Even Sunday? They ask in disbelief.
Particularly on Sunday.
I’m starting off my list of the 28 traits of the modern man with this one. While the list is in no particular order, being moderate has multiple effects and will come up as a correlating trait further down the list. So for this reason I have put it first. It may not be the most exciting trait, but it’s darn important.
There are three type of people in the world: scrupulous, moderate, and exaggerators.
Last year I mocked a New York Times piece on their idea of the 27 traits to be a modern man. I mean, apparently you need to own a melon-baller for some reason.
Anyway, after my mocking was done I got to thinking. What are the traits of a modern man? The real traits? Traits that I’d like to have? Traits that I value in other men that I know?
So I opened up a word file and every now and then when I thought of one I added to it. Sometimes I added one only to delete it later on. Over time this has coalesced into 28 traits. Now I could just put the list up here, because some of these are self-explanatory. But they need to be expounded upon for you dumbos out there to get them.
So starting tomorrow I am going to begin with my list. I will add one a day until we have the entire list which I will then link to on a new page at the top of the blog. This is going to be fun but it’s also serious. I really consider these traits to be crucial for a man in the world we live in today.
I expect to have missed one or two. Thus it also behooves my loyal readership to see if you can come up with any that I may have missed. If we find one then I will add it with its own post and description.
So tomorrow we will start with the first trait. Stay tuned.
Here at pushingrubberdownhill, (PRD for the cool kids in town), we’ve been doing Friday links for about 73 years now. In fact, all other sites that do Friday links have copied us and we shall presently commence legal action against the rest of the world.
Wait, did she call me an African? WTF?
Modern journalists are merely bloggers.
Let’s see … black guy? Check. Female? Check. Immigrant? Check. Matt Le Blanc …? Can’t see this going too well for them. How many seasons, folks?
First they came for the bogans …
Tomb of the unknown facebook blogger.
The emperor has no paintbrush.
Remember kiddies, gold is insurance, it’s not an investment.
Before this morning I had never heard of Nick Cole. Now I’ve purchased his latest book. It sounds like an interesting book, sci-fi stuff with machines fighting the world. But that’s not the reason I picked it up. The reason is because his publisher, the miserable HarperVoyager refused to publish it because it offended their delicate sensibilities. They justified this reasoning by saying that Nick would lose 50% of his readership. In Nick’s words:
“… They demanded it be deleted without discussion. They felt it was for… the “greater good.” That is censorship, and a violation of everyone’s right to free speech. They demanded it be so or else… I wouldn’t be published. That’s how they threatened a writer with a signed contract.
I am a writer.
No. One. Will Ever. Bully. Me.
I am a writer …”
His book is tearing up the kindle sales charts. I hope his publishers are right now purchasing extra-large brown underwear. This is why Amazon is such a big deal. In the past he would have been defeated. He would have had to play ball with the gatekeepers. Writers don’t have to play ball any more. I think this event is really important. Buy his book. You know why.