Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

Trait 11 – The modern man has spent time alone.


After a slight break we’re back on board with our list of Traits:

The modern man has spent time alone.

All through high school and early adulthood a number of my friends had very similar social experiences. They would break up with a girl and less than a week later they’d be in another ‘serious’ relationship. It was as if they could never spend time by themselves. Their days had to be filled by the attention of another person. This had its inevitable conclusion in a marriage some time in their twenties. By the time they were married they had never spent a decent slice of their adult life by themselves.

It’s important to understand why solitary time is necessary for a man. It is through solitude that a man learns who he is. Being constantly distracted by outside attention draws a man away from contemplation. And contemplation is a requirement for inner growth. Being alone gives a man time – time to work out who he is and where he fits in the outside world. Time to develop himself as a person that he likes and wants to be.

For this reason it is crucial for a man to have lived alone at some point in his life. His own apartment, his own rules and world. In the early days he will inevitably be a slob, luxuriating in the freedom of doing whatever he wants. But as he matures he will come to understand the benefits of cleanliness and order. He learns how to take care of himself.

A man who knows how to take care of himself is self-sufficient.

Being self-sufficient means that the modern man does not need to rely on finding a woman to take care of him. Only a child needs to be taken care of; a man should not. Women who rely on their place in a relationship as being a mother substitute will not find such a man attractive. This is to the modern man’s great benefit. A man who is self-sufficient deals with the world on his terms. This should never be underestimated. Such a man has options, and options equate to freedom.

All this begins when the modern man spends time alone. It is a crucial step on the road to self-discovery. And it can be done at almost any stage in a man’s life.

The modern man has spent time alone.


Happy wife, happy life?


12th trait – The modern man does not eat with his mouth open.

1 Comment

  1. dearieme

    “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

    But was Pascal modern?

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