14th trait – The modern man is not offended.

offended

I hope the next one on the list doesn’t upset anyone …

The modern man is not offended.

Traditionally, people get offended because they aren’t given respect. But as with so many aspects of life this is merely a projection. How can anyone respect you if you do not respect yourself? The act of taking offense is merely a demonstration of weakness. You are showing that the other person has gotten under your skin and exposed your weakness and now you are publicly reacting to that. It is a layer cake of weakness. Weak piled up on top of weak.

How much more satisfying it is to respond to an attempted put-down with a raised eyebrow or a witty retort, (or perhaps both). The man who reacts in this way is elevated in status amongst his peers, while his would-be attacker must either laugh or back down and lose face.

The act of taking offense betrays a chronic case of self-importance and deep insecurity. Such a man is untrustworthy in tough situations and will be rightly held at arm’s length by his peers. If the modern man does find himself being offended then this signifies an opportunity for self-reflection. Try and identify the inner weakness that caused you to become offended. Then work at removing it so you are not vulnerable to the torment another time.

Being offended is not the same as being angry. If you key my car that does not offend me, but by God you’re going to have a serious confrontation on your hands.

The act of not being offended signifies maturity. A mature man does not ignore the words spoken but he reacts to them in a different way. He studies the words for what they are, not for what they might mean to his psyche.

Being easily offended is also a form of narcissism as the injured individual is constantly directing attention back to themselves. It is all about them at every opportunity. And unfortunately this is never more the case than in the modern world, for now taking offense is seen as being a virtue. By saying, ‘I’m offended’, a person now seeks to win an argument. In Australia we even have a law that makes it illegal to offend another person. In other words, we have a law that propagates and encourages weakness, as well as hindering free speech.

You do not win an argument by being offended – you merely demonstrate your immaturity.

The only right being offended gives you is the right to self-reflection.

While the modern man may discover his peers dissolving in an orgy of offense-taking, he stands alone, a pillar of maturity surrounded by a horde of man-children. Strength as opposed to weakness. Resolution instead of indecisiveness. And uncaring of his opponent’s histrionics in reaction to his own words. Such a man can think clearly as he is not a victim of his own manufactured emotions. And thinking clearly when all around are losing their minds is a very great advantage.

The modern man is not offended.

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