Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

“She nags me to do the dishes all the time.”

girl mowing

Yesterday I was at my local greengrocer getting some nice fresh fruit and veg because I’m awesome like that. Anyway, I was there doing my thing when I overheard two young guys who work there having a discussion. One of them, we’ll call him the first guy, was complaining about his live-in girlfriend. From his age and his naivety I think it would be fair to make the assumption that this is his first live-in relationship.

He was complaining about how much she was nagging him to do stuff around the house. It wasn’t a bitter form of complaining; I reckon he’s got a few more years before it evolves to that stage. It was more of a perplexed state that he was in. He truly couldn’t understand why it was that she was breaking his balls so much. As far as he was concerned the house was clean enough but it wasn’t good enough for her. He really poured his heart out to his colleague.

Who we’ll call the second guy. After listening to this the second guy came out with his magnificent advice. It amounted to something along the lines of, ‘that’s just how chicks are, they always complain, you’ll have to learn to live with it, it’ll be like that for the rest of your natural life.’

Then the second guy walked off in a manner that communicated that the case was closed as the grand pronouncement had been made. The first guy stood there for a few seconds looking exasperated and confused, and then he proceeded to go back to stacking carrots or whatever it was that he was doing while muttering to himself.

I couldn’t help myself. I moved over to him and quietly got his attention.

“Just so you know,” I said, “Everything your mate just told you is pretty much rubbish.”

He perked up on hearing this.

I continued. “The simple truth is that whoever wants the house to be clean the most is the one who will become responsible for doing it. She wants the house to be more clean than you, is that right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Absolutely.”

“Right. And you don’t have a problem with that up until the point where she makes your life a misery about it?”

“Yeah.” He was looking hopeful now.

“Is there anything that you do around the house that she doesn’t particularly care about doing?”

He thought for a moment. “The garden. I take care of the garden. She doesn’t care about that.”

“And do you break her balls because she doesn’t pull her weight in the garden?”

A light was beginning to shine in his eyes. “No, I don’t.”

“Does she help you in the garden at all?”

“Not a bit.”

“But you help her clean the house?”

“Yeah, I do. And keeping the garden tidy is a requirement of the lease.”

“There’s your answer then,” I said.

I left him there with his carrots.


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  1. Sjonnar

    Unfortunately, that is not the answer. =(

    The real answer is “That bitch is now single. Serve her thirty days notice to vacate and bang any hot friends she may have.”

    Nag me about goddamn dishes? You must be on drugs.

    • Adam

      Where the hell have you been? I thought you’d been hit by an out of control icecream truck or something.

      • Sjonnar

        I’ve been here, checking in every day. I just don’t generally say anything unless I think I have something worth saying.

      • Sjonnar

        To clarify, I think what I said above needed saying because the poor bastard in your story is in for a lot of misery even if he makes the perfectly logical argument that the person who wants the house more tidy should be the one doing the tidying. His girlfriend is going to nag him nonstop anyway, and he’s going to take it and be miserable, because dudes these days have been basically emasculated by a pro-female (and pro-feminist) society.

        To me, a nagging wife is an indicator that you done fucked up and married the wrong woman. A nagging girlfriend, on the other hand, is like the missile-warning system on an aircraft. It’s a big flashing light and snarling buzzer screaming “ABORT! ABORT! Get out of there now before it’s too late!”

        • Adam

          I know, he has a lot of turmoil awaiting him. But what can you say? Who the hell listens to advice? I never did.

  2. ‘It’s never about the toothpaste.’
    Sure, the guy needs to tell her, ‘Quit whining about the house. You do the house. I’ll do the garden. I’ll help around the house sometimes, say, when you need muscle work scrubbing the grouting. You can help me in the garden by bringing me cold drinks and otherwise staying out of the way. That’s the only solution to the issue and I’m done talking about it.’
    But then he also needs to solve the underlying problem: lack of attraction. He won’t get it by being more helpful. Acts of service show that one isn’t worthy of being attractive on his own merits and that he has to make up the difference somehow What he needs to do is complicated. I don’t know the guy but here are some suggestions that one in his situation can mix and match:
    – buff up
    – focus on financial security
    – have an active social life
    – have interesting projects going on
    – get up to cool things on the weekend
    – be a little mysterious. Being away or out of touch for a while can help
    – flirt with other women in front of the girlfriend
    Athol Kay’s site has good advice on that although it is focused on married men.

    • Adam

      All sage advice. We’ll see how he went in a few days time. I give him a 1 in 10 chance.

  3. Elizabeth

    My partner and I share tasks around the home, but I do more housework because he earns more and pays for more everyday things.

    It’s called teamwork.

    If a woman doesn’t – or refuses to – acknowledge that she should do her fair share, then you’re wasting your life being with her.

    Lay it out, respectfully of course, and ask for a partnership. If she isn’t willing to meet you halfway, and you let her get away with that, she does not and WILL NOT respect you.

    Run a mile.

    • Elizabeth

      …. to add something, because I don’t want to seem like, “Hey, I’m one of those good womens.” I’ve just met a LOT of selfish cows in Australia who don’t deserve their husbands. And I’ve met a lot of decent men, who put up with a lot of shit.

      So I like to speak truth to bullshit, i.e. women should be treated like princesses, because they shouldn’t. Most of them are selfish cows who need to lift their act.

      • Adam

        Thanks for your comments, Elizabeth. In my opinion, in general Aussie women are ruined. At least the current generations. The few good ones out there are just not worth the collective risk.

  4. Elizabeth

    I wish that wasn’t true, but I have to sadly agree.
    It’s why I don’t have any women as friends: because it’s so hard to find a quality one.
    Being given everything, while being told they’re being oppressed, has produced a whole generation of selfish bitches.

    Hopefully the next generation will rebel against their awful mothers and turn out OK.

    On a side note: I read this article the other day claiming that housewives were so oppressed in the 50’s because after they got to other work outside the home during the war they were forced back into their kitchens. And I was like, oh really? How sad for them… By the way, where were the men? What were they doing? Just having a lovely holiday? Or fucking dying to keep those women safe? I mean, what a selfish, childish and entitled attitude to have! And if those women were so oppressed, then why has the happiness of women been on steep decline every single decade since they were “liberated”?

    Fuck me, it’s absolutely disgusting.

  5. BTampa

    Wife #1: But you get to go to work and I’m here all day with the kids…

    Me: You think I go to work for fun?

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