My little post on the world of MGTOW a couple of days ago got linked at the official MGTOW reddit subforum which resulted in a lot of traffic and some fairly eye-opening comments on both ends.
So I decided to delve into the reddit forum and see what these guys are saying and what they truly believe. And after a few hours I came to the realization that I am extremely thankful not to have grown up during the internet age.
These guys are very bitter towards women, which is somewhat surprising as it seems that a fair number of them have had very little to do with women at all during their short lifetimes. A look at their front page will give you an idea of the scope of their grievances. They have tapped into the present day zeitgeist of railing against the unfairness of growing up as a guy in what is mostly a feminized world, at least in The West. To be fair, I noted this unfairness back in the early 1990s. It was clear to me even then that as men we were on a hiding to nothing. But never in my wildest nightmares did I ever entertain the thought of ‘checking out’, (which I define as giving up). I just decided to be as careful as possible in how I approached my personal encounters with women.
To be fair I made many mistakes and it was a gigantic learning curve. If I look back now, some of the stuff that I did and some of the behaviors that I displayed just make me shudder. I had a lot of pre-programing to get over. I’d been fed a bundle of lies about women when growing up. My mother had been one of the prime feminists in my home-town and it was just unfortunate for me that she never had any daughters. I joke around with people that the first words I learned to say were ‘male patriarchal society’ but it’s pretty close to the goddam truth. But in all my dealings with women there were two mistakes that I didn’t make. I didn’t get a woman pregnant and I didn’t enter into a contractual obligation with the wrong one.
Great women are out there. And they are attracted to great men. They aren’t attracted to young guys who haven’t yet developed a true sense of identity. I worked with older rafting guides who got these sort of women. These same women were entertained by me, they liked me, but they weren’t attracted to me. So I set out to make myself an attractive proposition. That meant a lot of hard work, a lot of mistakes, some rejections, and some successes. Ultimately it resulted in my marriage to a truly spectacular, happy, and loving woman. I would never have attracted her if I hadn’t done the hard yards.
I suspect that many of the guys in the MGTOW community don’t want to do the hard yards. This reddit post, titled MGTOW isn’t a pass to be irresponsible and unaccountable – that’s feminism was deleted, but the comments to it are still on display. They reveal what I suspect to be the case, (as well as the fact that it was deleted).
Instead of looking at their circumstances and using that as an impetus to change and improve, these guys revel in their poor circumstances and the fact that a great deal of the deck is stacked against them. It is ultimately demeaning and decidedly unmanly. And I suspect that it will be difficult to crawl out of seeing as their fellows will do their best to pull them back in if they look like escaping. Such an environment becomes toxic as it revolves inwards.
I was single for three years before I met my wife. I was not alone by any means, I had a fair few girls on the side. But I did my own thing. I wasn’t looking for a long-term partner, let alone a wife. I was working on living my life and improving myself. But I certainly was not hating women for their comparative advantages. I love women. They are great. But they must be approached with caution and a good amount of life experience.
Ultimately your success in life is based on your results. Are you alone, bitter and unhappy? Are you doing your best to improve yourself and slowly getting better by the year? Are you in a loving and supporting relationship and happy? You can fire off as many pithy comments as you like on a reddit sub-forum and spend an inordinate amount of time arguing back and forth about the true meaning of an MGTOW, but in the end it is your own circumstances that reveal the truth of the matter. People who never get over lying to themselves tend to have horribly unsatisfying lives.