Only men invited.

men only

you know it, baby.

This week I caught a great comment on The Advice Goddess blog on the topic of female only spaces at universities. I’m re-posting the comment in full as it brings up a bunch of salient points:

When it comes to studying, or any other serious business requiring teamwork, the men are better off segregating from the women, even if it means having inferior facilities. If the women will do the segregating that’s even better, because the men won’t have to hear a lot of indignant bitching and whining about oppression and discrimination.

I learned that in nursing school, in a class of 62 women and 7 men. At the beginning of the first semester, in order to split up the work and get assignments done in less time, students joined together in study groups of 5 or 6. By the middle of the semester us men learned that study groups with women were dysfunctional. They just would not get along! They bitched, they bickered, they cried- actual tears!; this one didn’t like that one; certain ones wouldn’t talk to certain others; and they worried that they were going to do more work than someone else – to the extent that they often wouldn’t do their share out of fear that someone else might do less.

In the middle of the first semester five of us men abandoned our study groups and formed a men-only study group. Best move we ever made. We met for two hours, twice a week, in a messy little storage room that none of the women would want. We shared pizza and chips and donuts and bacon and Subway sandwiches and caffeine. We goofed around and told jokes and laughed loudly and raucously, and talked crudely about the women, and played loud music, and ate our junk food, and got every assignment and every problem done on time and done right. Even when there was no work to do we still met, just to have a good time. The only thing any of us worried about was not carrying his share of the load; so each of us always did a little extra, just in case another guy was unable for some reason to get his part done.

Women whose groups were dysfunctional knew we were getting the work done, and they wanted to be in our group; but we told them, “Nuh-uh! No women!” When we met we drew a chalk line on the floor across the doorway and wrote “No Women” next to it. They started calling us the He-man-Woman-haters, but every time we met they’d hear us laughing and having a good time, and some of them would try to come in; but we’d shout them back out and tell them not to cross that chalk line. Some would get offended and go off pouting, calling us assholes and gay (two of us were married, two straight single, one gay single); and others would act so cute, standing just outside the door with their toes right up to the line, smiling and chatting, and waiting for us to invite them in. It was tempting, but we never weakened. We couldn’t afford to. There was too much at stake. And it paid off in the end.

Women are dysfunctional

There is so much win in this post it’s hard to know where to begin. Let’s start with the topic of women being dysfunctional in groups. Anyone who has ever been in this situation knows that this is true for the most part, (yes yes, I know – there was this one group that one time with a woman who was awesome and it was the best experience ever. I don’t care. Once again the exception proves the rule.)

I once was on quite good terms with a girl who worked as a waitress at a major strip-club in London. This girl was very level headed and she used to regale me with stories of the manager of all the girls in the club. She was called, ‘The Mother’. Her job was to stop all of the constant bickering and infighting and she did it with an iron personality that took no prisoners. Apparently it was the only method that worked and it is quite standard in that industry. I assume that the traditional head nurse performed a similar function in hospitals back in the day.

Women are dysfunctional not because they are bad but because they are primarily emotional in nature. This means that their moods swing wildly up and down, a roller-coaster of emotions. Two or three of these together makes for interesting times indeed. The best solution as described here is simple segregation. Why do you think that men-only clubs were quite prevalent up to just a couple of decades ago? Oh, that’s right – the patriarchy!

Men shine in groups with a common goal or purpose.

Get a bunch of guys together to achieve a goal and most of the time it works as described in the comment above. Men get off on contributing to a group. In this context they tend to lift their game as to not do so would let down the group as a whole. Notice how the commentor states that all of them did a little bit more work than needed. Women tend to get bitchy when this happens as their natural assumption is that you did more to show them up. It is difficult for them to conceive that there might be another motive at play.

Conversely, if a man is not pulling his weight the other guys won’t tend to whisper behind his back. He will usually be called out on his free-rolling behavior and told to lift his effort or he’ll be out of the group. This exchange will not be emotional. It will be plain speaking and based on logic. The usual course of action is that the slacker will improve his performance.

Women want what they cannot have.

Tell the average guy that he can’t come in a group and his reaction will usually be one of miffed indifference. “You don’t want me in? Okay, your loss.” Only low status men run around crying and complaining that they aren’t welcome somewhere. Women however, become immediately obsessed with obtaining something that is forbidden to them. They will start with coy tactics in an attempt to appeal to men’s lower base nature. If this fails then the subsequent stock-standard line is to question the men’s masculinity. Accusing men who group together of being gay is pathetically routine in this instance. And it’s also hilarious when some of these same women will scream homophobia at the drop of a hat if you dare to question their stance on gay marriage for instance. But then, we’re not talking about logical beings here.

Notice also what would happen if you did acquiesce and let them into the group. Once they get what they want on an emotional level they cease to be infatuated with it. The woman now in the group won’t understand the male camaraderie and she will be threatened by it.

“Is this all that you guys do here?” she will say in a disparaging manner. “I thought that there was much more interesting stuff going on.”

The inference is that the men are boring. If the men take the hook they will try to make it more “exciting” for her which will begin to erode what they originally had. The woman will inevitably turn the group’s focus around to being solely about her. The men who wish to sleep with her at all costs will play along with this while the men who aren’t as desperate and who possess some measure of self-worth will eventually leave in disgust. I have seen this play out over my life, time and time again.

Men-only spaces and clubs are not only a great thing, they are a necessary thing. Hopefully we will start to see their return. Women-only groups are a good idea as well. As long as they have a strong and unwavering Mother.

 

6 thoughts on “Only men invited.

  1. Sjonnar

    Those of us who are gamers have all seen this as well, repeated time and again. Why do guilds break up? Drama. And who causes the drama? Chicks. The GLs wife; the GLs girlfriend; some random girl that thinks it has to be all about her because she deigned to join your little group.

    Meanwhile the group of nothing but dudes (who, naturally, are all fat, gay, basement-dwelling virgins) generally Gets Shit Done with no bullshit; beating the other guilds and taking their shit, downing the bosses and getting loot, and just generally having a good ol’ time playing a game.

    Like

      1. Sjonnar

        I’ve been goofing around in Guild Wars 2 again lately. I like it well enough, and it has the advantage of not having a monthly sub. Once you buy the game, it’s free to play.

        Like

      2. Sjonnar

        Also, Total War Warhammer. I neglected to mention it because it is mostly single-player, and I assumed you were asking about online multiplayer games. But if you’re looking for a good SP game, TWW is the best in the series by a country mile.

        Like

  2. Great post. What’s interesting about the male female dynamic in a place like nursing school is the disproportionate number of men to women. Men are a minority, so it’s pretty easy for guys to make those connections on a smaller scale (in terms of sheer numbers, it relates to quality over quantity).

    Having started the road to nursing school as a medic (cuts the time in half), I realized the environment was going to take some patience. I then got the call to become a firefighter, so I’ve placed that on the back burner, at least for now.

    Like

  3. Floyd R Turbo (American)

    My Dad worked as a physician in an office where he employed eight women as nurses, receptionists, bookeeper, office manager etc.
    .
    Most of the time they quickly established a pecking order and things worked fine, but every so often somebody (usually a receptionist) would quit and need to be replaced. For some reason my Dad would frequently ask my Mom to fill in at receptionist while he got a replacement.
    .
    What he never realized was that he had abruptly inverted the pecking order by putting a receptionist at the top, right below the Doctor. The result was that the entire office became dysfunctional within two weeks, and my Dad would have to fire his Wife to restore order.
    .
    He never learned because he always assumed that Women were rational…

    Liked by 1 person

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