but what if she’s not in the mood that night …?
Vox Day has an excellent post today on the topic of marital rape. He links to a debate he had with a feminist on the topic which is worth reading. For the record, I completely agree with Vox. The term marital rape is an oxymoron. It is a contradiction in terms. Vox uses an excellent analogy which I haven’t seen before to defend his position:
LM: Good. We go that far. Your argument then hinges on the statement that to get married is to give an all time consent forever to sex with your spouse?
Vox: Exactly. It’s no different than when you join the army.You only have to join the army once. You don’t get the choice to consent to obey orders every single time an order is given. In certain arrangements, and marriage is one of them, the agreement is a lasting one and that’s why it’s something that should not be entered into lightly.
She then goes into a long and drawn out attempt to depict an example of a woman saying no, and meaning it, and a husband continuing to force himself upon her. This does not make the man a rapist. It simply makes him an arsehole. Marital rape is completely unprovable. A wife accusing her husband of rape and pressing charges only demonstrates that the marriage is irrevocably over.
On colleges today in the USA it is a very risky proposition for a young man to bed a college woman of his own age. My advice for college age men would be to stay far away from women in that environment. Seek them out in other areas because any trust between men and women has been completely destroyed with the “no means no” rules and other legal and moral absurdities. The fact is that a young man cannot trust a young woman not to go back on her social commitment to have sex and instead accuse him of rape. It is at the point where a written contract is required not just for the act itself but for every step of the process. Want to touch a young woman on the arm? Well, you better get out that sheaf of forms and get her to initial here, here, here and over there. Very good. Oh, you want to try and kiss her now? There’s a separate form for that.
This has the effect of infantilizing the people concerned. They are no longer trusted with an adult social transaction. In this case the university takes the role of overseeing the decision. In the debate with Vox, Louise Mensch admits that to do this in marriage would be silly:
I can honestly say that nothing would kill the mood more than if we all had to sign a form in triplicate saying, “Yes, I am well up for it” and maybe get it notarized before we have sex.
No shit it kills the mood. Ask any college student about affirmative consent, (another stupid oxymoron).
But this is where the Marxist progressive idiots wish to take us. They want to infantilize adults in their own marriage. They want to destroy trust between husband and wife by the implication that they cannot be morally trusted to have intercourse with one another without government interference. Once upon a time you got married and went home and that was it. The two parties were trusted to get on with it on their own. This included the act of bringing up children.
Well, we all know how much trust parents have to bring up their own children now. It has almost been taken away. Social workers in Canada can enter your home at any time to inspect your kitchen to see whether you have enough food for your children. All they require is a suspicion that things are not as they should be.
Suspicion infers a lack of trust. See where this is going? The Marxists’ number one goal is to destroy the family unit. There are many methods of achieving this. Individually they do not have an effect, but cumulatively they add up. Marital rape is one of those elements. It implies that two adults who have made a formal commitment to live their lives together and make a family are not able to manage the issue of whether or not one of them feels like having sex on a particular night.
One more quote from the feminist:
The point there is, let’s say, you reach over to your spouse in the morning and you start fondling your spouse and your spouse … That’s not rape because you have a presumption that they’re going to enjoy it, that your marriage, et cetera. Your spouse wakes up and says, “Ugh, not today.” “Not tonight, Josephine”, to quote Napoleon Bonaparte. I have a hangover. I feel sick. Ugh, I have to go to work early. Not right now.
At that stage the spouse has said no. Not to sex ever but to sex in that situation. The spouse has said no. If I understand you correctly what you’re saying is the spouse can say, “No, I feel sick” and it does not constitute rape for, let’s say, the husband because that’s who it would need to be in a penetrative situation to climb on his wife who has said that she doesn’t want to have sex and that she feels ill, in that given situation, and force himself on her. That that is not rape. She has clearly withdrawn her consent. She’s done so verbally.
To repeat, that situation does not make a husband a rapist. It simply makes him an arsehole.