The paralympics are retarded.

paralympics

nobody gives a shit.

I’ve gone on the record as stating that nothing could make me care less about the Olympics. Well, it turns out that I was wrong. The one thing that can make me care less about the Olympics is the Paralympics.

The Paralympics opened yesterday in a huge fanfare of nobody caring much at all. Admit it, you didn’t take any notice, and if you did it was only because someone brought it up and you felt compelled to feign enthusiasm or be labeled as a hating hating bigot person.

When the Olympics was spluttering through its two weeks of athletes getting mugged or not mugged, I noticed a fair number of articles around the traps by writers proclaiming their general hatred and pouring scorn on the entire SJW infested Olympic ideal. Hell, I wrote a couple myself. And the Olympics are fair game for so many reasons. But now we come to the paralympics and what do we get?

Crickets.

Crickets in a field on a warm summer evening.

eih-eih. eih-eih.

There are two possible reasons for this. The first is that although these writers and commentators managed to rouse themselves to compose diatribes about the Olympics, they are simply so uncaring of the paralympics that they can’t be bothered to write anything at all. This I can kind of believe due to the fact that nobody gives a shit about the paralympics. At my local gym during the Olympic coverage, every single television was devoted to this or that event. Crowds of lumpy middle aged women would climb down from their treadmills and whoop and holler for some swimmer or runner as their sweat-stained leotards ran up their ample and frankly terrifying butt cracks.

But yesterday at the gym? 80s music videos. The paralympics can’t even compete with reruns of ZZ Top. I don’t have a formal workplace anymore but I can’t imagine that anyone was gathering around the coffee machine to gush about some steel-bladed runner. And that’s because nobody gives a shit. Why?

Because the paralympics are retarded. Literally. Who wants to watch retarded people compete at events that the world’s absolute best were competing at only a couple of weeks ago? I mean, are you shitting me? Nobody wants to watch that. Even in today’s incomprehensible climate of political correctness, nobody can be bothered to fake enthusiasm for some droolers trying to shoot an arrow with their mouth.

But you won’t hear a word against it. Oh no sirree. And that’s the second, and frankly far more likely of the two reasons that nobody is writing about it. They don’t want to be accused of some un-pc-like-behavior. So nobody says anything but if someone does say something then they’ll be quick to jump on them with accusations of bigotry, and hatred, and disablaphobia, (I just made that word up by the way). You can’t even criticize the paralympics. Even when the entire Russian team was banned for doping, as well as rumblings of people overstating their disabilities so as to be able to compete, nobody can say a word against disabled people.

It’s not that I hate disabled people; I don’t. But I don’t give a shit about them either. Why should I? I’m healthy and whole and nobody gives a shit about me either way. If tomorrow I was disabled I wouldn’t expect anyone to give a shit about me then either. But disabled people seem to have this entitlement factor about them. It gets old real fast. The paralympics have got old real fast as well. I don’t even want to know how much government money is wasted on this event.

But go on. Keep pretending that you support the paralympics when you haven’t watched a single event or couldn’t even name a single athlete without sneaking a peep at Google. The only time the world watches is when a disabled guy shoots his hot wife for having a shower. Which is retarded.

10 thoughts on “The paralympics are retarded.

  1. CEO Nikolic

    Fine article, fully demonstrative of your (neglected) talents.

    Best takeaway line:

    “Even in today’s incomprehensible climate of political correctness, nobody can be bothered to fake enthusiasm for some droolers trying to shoot an arrow with their mouth.”

    I’m an expert writer, and I can judge power and wit and succinctness, and this line has got all three.

    By the way, I posted a seductive-pushy comment in the last day’s article about you coming over to my site as a regular commentator. I won’t belabor the point, but I urge you to look it over — and come. qedbook.wordpress.com . Memorize it. *smiles, bows, and departs for now*

    Like

  2. GFR

    I noticed that there was a lot less interest in the olympics this time around. I’m not quite sure why.
    .
    It might be because the US was so dominant – China had really been making an effort in the last few olympics but it seems that they didn’t try very hard this last go around.
    .
    They were even beaten by the UK – which must have been a source of great pride for the British people who live in Britain, but even a former British person like myself can’t seem to care very much..
    .
    Or maybe it’s simpler than that – maybe people aren’t watching TV very much – and when they ARE watching TV it’s “Game of Thrones” or “Downton Abbey” rather than Brazil vs. Germany in the olympic soccer finals.
    .
    Most of the time people are using their computers rather than watching TV.

    Like

  3. Carl-Edward

    As an antidote to the celebration of genetic refuse, I recommend watching: ‘Olympia’ (1936).

    Too, it seems to me, that the only Olympics that mattered were the Olympics of 1936 and 1960.

    Like

  4. With the botoxed, hair-dyed Bob Costas simpering over the athletes, why would anyone care about the Olympics? Being hammered to “Care! Care! Care!” about every disabled person, all I can say is, “Yawn.” The Paralympics belong in a high School gym.

    Like

  5. Leeann G. Lucero

    People notice what they are told to notice. Far fewer people would notice the Olympics if there wasn’t a ton of adversments. It gives physically disabled people a way to compete at something they enjoy and excel at. I don’t know a single Football players name today. Yet I understand it’s something that is worthwhile for those players and my not caring has nothing to do with their talents, their lives or their pursuits. Frankly, it seems you wasted your time writing an article about something you couldn’t care less about. Maybe pick something you do care about and write about that. It will likely be a better read.

    Like

  6. Leeann G. Lucero

    P.S. the first time you see a person hold their own while swimming a race in a pool, without freaking arms or prosthetics, you may not care to ever tune in again, but if you aren’t at least amazed that one time, your spirit is in serious need. There is something inside you that’s disabled. Also, I just thought about this. Other than the big deals that emerge, what Olympians names do any if us know? Name me a rhythmic gymnast from your country. Go ahead, without googling it? It’s not like there is Monday night gymnastics either artistic nor rhythmic. Just because something gets more coverage doesn’t mean that’s the only thing worth caring about. Additionally, the world does not revolve around your interests nor lack there of. These athletes have trained and they’d like a chance to compete and I’d venture that they’d do that independently of your interest or mine for that matter.

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  7. Leeann G. Lucero

    I hate that this article is my head but one more freaking thing. These athletes, all of them, the able bodied and the disabled are the embodiment of what the human spirit can compel the human body to do. That is what sports are. That is what the Olympics are. That is what people cheer on. A Tide commercial or a McDonald’s commercial didn’t shove it in people’s faces to tune in to paralympics? You don’t care? What does that matter? Our blogs, and Facebooks, and twitters and instagrams will rarely accomplish anything more than a like and undeserved pat on our self absorbed backs. These people have done something with themselves.

    Like

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