The reason why I have a problem with the more extreme elements of the MGTOW movement is because as Vox Day says it is an evolutionary and civilizational dead end. As he observes, women are always going to congregate and come to the assumption that they are ‘oppressed’ no matter what their actual circumstance. It is our duty to fight against the more extreme elements of feminism so as to save young women who would otherwise be indoctrinated.
This is not done out of great humanitarian love but rather as a more practical task seeing as it results in women who are much less objectionable than their feminist counterparts. And ultimately because in the end it is the desire of most men to start a family. It is all well and good to talk the big talk of going your own way early on but as the years go by and particularly if you meet a woman who gives you the stirrings of faint hope that she may be a worthwhile risk, then you may find that you want to change your tune.
I used the word risk just then on purpose. Life is full of risk. The wise man will seek to moderate his risk as much as possible but he will never fully eliminate it. Let’s say you’re in your mid thirties and you meet a woman who you think is as good as it gets. She’s into you just as much as you’re into her. Hopefully she’s a few years younger than you are. She passes the shit-test stage and the PMT stage with flying colors. She passes the three month stage by not having a personality meltdown in all that time. It seems as if she has no desire to change you and mold you into what she thinks a man should be. So far so good.
Enough time has gone by that you decide to pop the question. You have done all the research on her that you can. You have been upfront with her with regards to all your beliefs and opinions and you think that she has been the same with you. In other words, you have mitigated the risk as much as you can.
At a certain point if you’re going to go through with this then you have to form a basis of trust with this woman. The level of trust that you give her will determine the level of openness in your marriage. If you trust her 100% then you raise the potential of 100% openness and success in your marriage. If you hold back and trust her at around 80% then you will get the same level of trust back and the same level of openness in your relationship at a maximum.
How much are you willing to risk for what amount of reward? This is what life is about, not just with personal relationships but with professional ones as well. In my own marriage I gave my wife 100%. It was as good a shot as I had ever had. I insisted on one bank account that we would put all of our money into. In all my previous relationships the money had been completely separate. What I had learned from that was that this meant that there would always be a level of separation in the relationship. With previous girls I had gone so far up to a certain point but had then stopped. My previous relationships had in fact been a form of killing time.
It worked out with my wife. But what if it hadn’t? Then I would have licked my wounds, picked myself back up and started again. And there would have been a great deal of revaluation as I tried to understand where I had misinterpreted information when forming my opinions.
Over the course of my life I have learned that there are people you can trust. It helps greatly if you yourself are trustworthy – that’s a very good foundation. Then as time goes by you begin to learn how to spot the deceivers. I’m not perfect. I made a big miscalculation on somebody fairly recently, within the last year. But I had protected myself from the fallout if it had gone badly and so as a result I wasn’t affected a great deal. Mostly it was restricted to personal disappointment in the other person. And of course I attempted to reevaluate so as to not make the same mistake again.
If the idea of trusting like this causes you great concern then perhaps you need a bit more practice and life experience at it. Or perhaps you need to better reevaluate your past bad experiences. Or perhaps a combination of these. But either way, if you do not manage to come to a level of trust then ultimately you will have a rather lonely life.