Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

I’m sorry but I had to dump Scarlett Johansson.

The good wife and I each have a celebrity free pass. This is a nominated celebrity which we’re allowed to sleep with if we ever get the opportunity. For the past eight years my own free pass has been Scarlett Johansson. The Scarlett Johansson that I saw in Lost in Translation.

But now she has to go. Both because she is getting on in years and due to her recent participation in the March to end Feminism forever.

So I need a new celebrity free pass. Any suggestions, oh erstwhile and wise commenters? (She has to be a conservative. I’ve learned my lesson.)

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11 Comments

  1. Skew

    Rachel McAdams. I fell in love with her watching her in the movie “Notebook” and the “Time Travelers Wife”. BUT now I’ve read her bio and found out:
    1. She is a vegetarian and
    2.She doesn’t own a car. As part of her daily contribution to help conserve energy, she rides her bike or takes the bus.
    I’m guessing here but something tells me she’s not a conservative. Sigh.

  2. Anyone but Maria Sharapova: she’s mine.

    • The grunter? She’s all yours. Mind you that Canadian tennis chick with the French name is pretty hawt. Worth considering.

  3. David Moore

    Yes, I have to agree. As I commented on Tim’s site, she has hit the wall a decade or two early. Sadly, she was always a Hollywood liberal, hanging out with Sean Penn does that. That will become more to the front the older she gets.

    I’m going to offer you a left field option; Stacy Dash. That is a girl who has aged with grace.

    • Someone who has already aged goes entirely against the spirit of this principle.

      • David Moore

        Right then, Ivanka Trump. That’s the only logical choice.

  4. Since it’s a one off does she have to be sane? That might narrow the field a bit. I have one or two in mind.

  5. I nominate former Miss Louisiana Brittany Guidry. A B-lister perhaps, but she irritated the media.

    • She’s gorgeous. Good wife material by the look of it. Not sure about a one night shag-fest though.

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