Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

There is no such thing as an Alpha female.

A new book by Fox news contributor and PJ media columnist Suzanne Venker is titled The Alpha female’s guide to men and marriage: How love works. There is only one problem with that title and that is the fact that there is no such thing as an alpha female. Now I’m sure that Venker means well and believes that she is really doing her bit to combat feminist tropes, seeing as she is apparently a “nationally recognized expert on America’s current gender war”. But this is no excuse for propagating such a falsehood.

Venker describes these so-called alpha females as women who have been groomed to be ultra-competitive, who argue with their husbands at any opportunity, and who want to be the boss. This type of wife wants to be in charge of everything and everyone. She micromanages, delegates, and tries to make all if the decisions. I bet that they would make simply outstanding backseat drivers.

But we don’t need some wholly invented and imaginary term to describe women like this. There are already plenty. How about bitch, shrew, or harridan just for starters? We could add scold, nag, banshee, harpy, battle-axe, dragon lady, fury, or vixen. History is replete with examples of these types of women. Any man so unfortunate as to marry one usually endured a life of utter misery.

The only difference between these historic women and their modern incarnations is the fact that these types of behaviors have been actively encouraged in young women. Instead of being sent to finishing schools where they once learned the arts of feminine mystique as a wife and mother, now they go to universities that indoctrinate them in the wonderment that is cultural Marxist feminist puppetry. We have been grooming harridans, but instead of acknowledging the need to start over from scratch, Venker seems to want to celebrate this new awfulness.

The blurb for her book includes this snippet:

America is in love with the alpha female. She’s the quintessential modern woman—assertive, razor sharp, and fully in control. Her success in the marketplace is undeniable, a downright boon to society.

If any of you have had the unfortunate displeasure of working with these modern women then I doubt very much that you would urinate on them if they caught on fire, let alone be in love with them. Their success in the marketplace is due to thirty years of stacking the odds in their favor. Mind you, this is only if you count success as your own personal fortune, much less the damage that you do to the business you work for. But the next part of the blurb is even worse.

But what happens when the alpha female gets married?

She becomes an alpha wife, of course.

But they’re not getting married because men don’t want to marry them. Women swallowed the great lie that they could have it all and then they compounded it with the even bigger mistake of assuming that men are attracted to the same things that they are, namely power, money, and success. But unless they’re a moocher, men don’t find those things attractive at all. Men are attracted to tits and ass. That’s it. Oh, and a woman who can keep her big fat mouth shut once in a while.

But an extract from her new book betrays Venker’s bias:

All a good man wants is for his wife to be happy, and he will go to great lengths to make it happen. He’ll even support his wife’s ideas, plans or opinions if he doesn’t agree with them. That’s because a husband’s number one goal is to please his wife.

Notice the assertion that a good man is one who wants to please his wife, the assumption being that not catering to her every whim will land you in the dog house. He’ll even turn into a brainless moron with no conflicting ideas of his own, all in the servitude to the feminine imperative.

But the last line is the real kicker. If your number one goal as a husband is to please your wife then she will treat you like a doormat. Women want a man who puts them second. Or third. Or even someplace else down the line. They want a man who has a mission in life and who is happy to bring her into his orbit as something complimentary to him. But as soon as a husband makes his wife his mental point of origin then she loses all respect and desire for him. Women do not want a fawning man, no matter what they may say on the subject.

What I am saying is that men tend to follow women’s lead. Your husband’s actions are more often than not reactions. He’s reacting to something you said or did, or to something you didn’t say or didn’t do. He’s reacting to your moods, your gestures, your inflections and your tone. That’s how men are.

No, that’s how men act who have been hen-pecked to within an inch of their lives. Men who were so stupid as to marry a harridan; sorry, sorry – an alpha female. Men who have been so weak as to not set the relationship within their own frame.

This hijacking of masculine terms such as alpha and beta is symptomatic of the feminization of our society. That’s bad enough, but Venker is hawking her book by telling women that all they need to do is to be nice to their husbands once in a while and normality will be restored to the household. This is patently false. A relationship like this is inevitably doomed because the couple exist in the wife’s frame. If the man “tends to follow the woman’s lead” as she writes then he is operating from within her frame. That is the number one reason why she is being a bitch to him. This entire book is simply a plea for women to stop shit-testing their men, but the reason that women shit-test their men in this way is because their men have not been strong enough to stand up and make their women operate in their own frame.

Venker could have easily made her book about one sentence long:

Dump your man and go find one who won’t put up with your shit.

But that probably wouldn’t sell quite as well.



Australian conservatism is finished.


Podcast #36 – The state of Australian politics episode.


  1. When I hear “Alpha Female” all I can think of is contrarian, bossy bitch with little in the way of being warm, open, and feminine.

    She may mean well but it still smells of Feminine Imperative first or things in a feminine frame.

    You, Mr Hubby, can be the Captain of MY ship with MY permission and opinions…

  2. Yagi

    Extend the leach they will hang them selves

  3. Who the hell doesn’t want their wife to be happy? But, there’s not a damn thing I can do about that. No one can make another person happy. Now if the author equates happiness with a man doing her bidding then that’s another matter. But why not just get a dog, the result is the same.

    If you posit that humans have some similarities to other social animals then I would suppose you could have an alpha female. Where this does occur (horses and wolves as two examples) the alpha female only has dominance in the female group. I think this tends to be true in humans, you can often observe a dominant woman in a group of other women. I don’t think that is how she means it though.

    BTW the only thing I can accomplish, vis a vis my wife’s state of mind, is to not act like an horse’s ass.

  4. Codger

    About a year ago my mate and his wife accompanied me and mine on a Burka and Wills expedition to Lakemba in Sydney’s south west. He’s still kicking himself for not buying a “Be Good To Your Husband And You’ll Go To Heaven” framed sign from one of the shops there

  5. LadyMoonlight

    I am guessing that few will agree with what I am about to type, but I will cope. What feminists fail to understand (and many men), particularly today’s feminists, is that women have always had power. What they haven’t had is control. A woman’s power used to one of quiet subtlety, quiet manipulation. In every society, women have had power and in some cases also control (queens like Elizabeth I, Isabella of Spain etc.). When feminists demanded equality, they screwed it for all women and took away all our power. The hand that rocks the cradle really does rule the world. Men who have been world leaders throughout history have had a quiet woman behind them and who raised them? Women! The problem with so many males today, is that they have been raised by feminists or women who are not strong women/mothers and what we have is a feminised male, not a man. Strong men in the past were raised by strong women. Now, I know that feminism has done some good….the vote for women, women protected by law from domestic abuse, women’s intelligence acknowledge when a woman is a proven genius in a chosen field, and I support all of the above. However, we have lost so much power. I like have a man open doors for me…good god, how powerful is that for a woman. I like old fashioned good manners. My stepfather had a habit of ensuring if we were walking anywhere, that he walked on the side of the footpath nearest the traffic and a female walked on the other side of him. He reasoned that he would be the one who was injured by an out of control car rather than me. Talk about power for a female! Women and children first…, that’s real power, knowing that the women would survive to teach the children and breed more. Men might see that as a alpha protecting thing for poor, weak females, but it is actually the opposite and it’s the reason women have always had power. Anyway, those concepts are no longer part of this world, unfortunately. I think the best demonstration of a women’s power comes from a movie called the Scarlett Letter. Who made the suggestion, quietly whispered in her husband’s ear about the concept of the scarlet letter? The governor’s wife. Who was the strongest one in the movie? The woman who had to wear the scarlet letter. Anyway, I doubt that many agree with my ramblings. I wonder, Adam, if you recognise the quiet power your wife has.

    • safespaceplaypen

      lol looks to me yur no different then these feminists. You want the “control” that comes with the “right” to vote, laws protecting against domestic violence, acknowledgment of women’s intelligence, all while having the “power” that comes with quiet subtly and manipulation. You want to have your cake and eat it too and expect men to two the line. Lol guess you can’t expect consistency from a woman lmao

    • Floyd R Turbo (American)

      Yeah.. modern women aren’t having children anymore.
      On the plus side, there are a lot less stray cats around..

    • Adam

      My wife has the quiet wisdom to defer to me except on matters of high importance.

      I disagree with you that women getting the vote was a good thing. It was the start of the rot.

      Feminizing men is somewhat of a problem but I think men are far more resilient than you think. If anything it is women who have proven to be less resilient. While many men have indeed become less manly in the traditional sense, far more women have become less feminine. Feminine today is a dirty word. It was far easier for feminist ideologues to convince women to try and become men than it was for them to convince men to become more feminine. Men are not being encouraged to become social workers or nurses but women are being pushed into becoming combat troops and footballers.

      The betrayal of women by the feminist agenda is broad and deep. Back in the fifties you women had it made. Electric appliances had reduced a working day in the home to a matter of a couple of hours whereas previously it had been a daily slog of drudgery. All you had to do was sit back and keep your mouths shut and not give the game away while your husbands dutifully went off to work. But your laissez faire circumstances caused you to attempt to compensate by complaining about imaginary injustices, all done to hide the fact that you had a very sweet deal in comparison with your husbands who still had the daily life of drudgery.

      The great irony is that by complaining and willingly believing the lies of the feminist progressives you took on your husbands’ burden, all under the rallying cry of “equality”!

      We don’t have feminized men nearly as much as we have masculine women. That is what this ridiculous book about “alpha women” doesn’t get. Why on earth would men want to put up with a woman who demands to be a man? The answer is, we don’t.

    • Advo

      Lady Moonlight, reading your post, what I see you saying is not that women had power (quiet or not). What I see richly illustrated in your examples is that women had value. By seeking overt power and control, women seem to surrender their innate value and become another player in the game.

  6. Floyd R Turbo (American)

    It sounds like what the “Alpha Females” really want are “wives”. Maybe they could pair up and take turns being on top?

  7. Melissa Reamer

    I am not a feminist. I do not not believe in women being hit, abused emotionally or verbally or in general disrespected. With that said , woman today are so wrong. A true alpha female does not need to exert her power she is a natural born leader, followed because she is respected not because manipulates situations. A true alpha female respects her husband and allows him to lead , well she gives intelligent insight and if he is a good man will heed good advice. I guess what I’m getting at is I’m woman and I want my man to be a man not a submissive lump. That involves a natural order that should be viewed as beautiful not demeaning( not saying all men can provide this). And no ladies if you were not born an alpha you cannot become one . Peter I loved your article . Kudos . My only disagreement is that I believe there is an alpha female it’s just not any of this junk people have recently published.

  8. Alpha Women

    You see at the end of the day we are all just highly domesticated animals programmed to survive. There is no female animal species that must rely on the male for food. Reason? The species wouldn’t survive if one half was so redundant, so they both evolved a full scope of capabilities. Only children and infant members need parental support, and in many cases both male and female parents conduct support activities. Human women aren’t born to be weak and useless. We have a full range of capabilities and if you have to put effort into “being feminine” or “being masculine” – guess what? – It’s not your natural state. I prefer to ultimately be true to myself and not masquerade around as some weak pathetic doting moron. Alpha women have been around for a long long time and are just now starting to emerge and be accepted. I was born this way, born to survive, born to thrive, and not born to be imprisoned by some less intelligent male who selfishly wants free labor. It’s time you guys stopped slowing down the human race and started helping.

  9. Aline

    I have the man who loves me, supports my ideas, plans and opinions, even if he doesn’t agree (or better to say, he will always be on my side, even if he doesn’t share my opinion), and i don’t treat him as a doormat. I love him crazy, kiss his hands and feet, respect him, care of his health and happiness. He is such a rare treasure in the world of men who don’t respect women. He is overweight, balding and not young, i am 12 years younger, skinny and hot, still he, but not some young sexist dickhead, has me as his loving, caring and loyal wife.

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