Fuck earth day and fuck the whales too.

So you wanna save the planet, huh? Your teachers at school kept drilling into your play-dough brain the idea that you have the capacity to save the world even though you can barely summon the mental energy to tie your own shoelaces in the morning. It’s a handy excuse to achieve nothing in your life I reckon. Throw all of your worthless inactivity under the collective banner of “saving the planet”.

Haven’t got a job? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. Halfway to retirement and not a penny saved in the bank, (in fact, you’re still overloaded with your student loans for your puppetry degree)? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. Had a bunch of kids out of wedlock with four different fathers? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. Your hair is dyed blue? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. You walk around wearing a pink vagina hat and you’re a dude? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. You’re a scientific fraud and a parasite on the public purse? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. You think somehow that gay marriage and science are intertwined? It’s okay I’m SAVING THE PLANET. You gave your kids names like “Soda Pop” and “Petal Blossom Rainbow”? It’s okay …

Oh, you know the drill.

Earth day. Fucking earth day. Is there one day throughout the year that better summarizes the utter vacuity of the progs on the left? Maybe that day where they turn out the lights. Or is that earth day? It’s so hard to keep track of all of this.

Well, fuck earth day. And fuck all of you. The planet is doing fine, you conceited fuckwits. Take your virtue signaling bullshit and ram it up where the sun don’t shine.  I know the reason you all march together with your cardboard signs. Deep down you suspect that you’re full of shit and that you’re an absolute loony. So what better way to alleviate your mental suffering while providing yourself with a temporary self-satisfied high than by surrounding yourself with people who are as stupid as you claim to be.

That’s why you all go marching together. And it’s all you can do. Go marching. How about that for an epitaph for your cardboard headstone – “She went on a lot of marches”. Imagine you with your tattooed grandkiddies sitting on your lap.

“What did you do with your life, grandad?”

“Well, Daisy Boo Pamela, I was on that march for Earth Day way back when. I was actually there.”

“Ooohhhhh. And did you make a sign?”

“I sure did. I made it outta environmentally friendly cardboard and I wrote on it with seven different coloured crayons with each colour representing the inequality that our gay brothers and sisters suffered for so long.”

“And what did your sign say, grandad?”

“Why, it said, ‘STOP FANNYING ABOUT – SUPPORT WOMEN IN STEM’.”

Just stop it already. You people are diseased with some parasite that has destroyed your minds. That’s why zombie movies are so popular with you lot – it’s because you can relate. Well some of us haven’t got shit for brains and we’re sick of earth day, and mother nature day, and any other activist causes that you have.

I want to kill more dolphin with my tuna. I want to sit down and eat some tasty whale for dinner with my table lit by a whale oil lamp. I want to proudly purchase my groceries and carry them home with as many plastic bags as possible; one plastic bag per item. Then I want to throw out those bags with the rest of the trash, inside another plastic bag that I purchased especially for that reason. I want to buy an old V8 and drive it using leaded fuel. I want to get an old house with a fireplace in each room and keep them all burning over winter while using endangered Californian redwood as fuel. I want to invest my super in companies that make guns and landmines, mine for uranium and coal, and cut down native virgin growth trees for toilet paper. I want to use that toilet paper. Even when I pee and I pee standing up. I’m gonna boycott any company that has even a hint of “ethical production values”. That goes also for companies who use the words “sustainable”, “organic”, “Eco-friendly”, “environmentally friendly”, “social awareness”, and any other brainless and empty platitudes that they haven’t thought of yet.

Happy earth day, motherfuckers. Now go out and get a haircut and get a job. Save the world my arse.

 

15 thoughts on “Fuck earth day and fuck the whales too.

  1. LadyMoonlight

    Well, I’m triggered!!
    Oh, for the past that we have thrown away. How I long for the money to buy my tropical island and say to hell with the rest of the lunatic world. Just me and my immediate family, living without all the bullshit that society now gleefully indulges in.

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      1. Mr Black

        That’s the thing with leaving society, isn’t it? The simple life sounds great, but you still expect the modern world and all it’s life saving and life improving technologies to be there on standby, in the background for that moment when things turn sour. Someone else has to do the work of keeping the lights on so you can run away and be ‘simple’.

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    1. Eduardo the Magnificent

      Whale oil was once used as a major component in transmission fluid. That stopped in the early 70s. Yes, the greenies had some part of that. But mainly, whale oil breaks down at higher temps, making it useless for the modern car.

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  2. Amanda

    And when a shark kills a human, go out and hunt the f’cker dead! And keep doing 80km when they change the speed limits down to 70 and 60 (but watch for speed cameras)!! And chuck excess garbage in the recycle bin occasionally because it all goes to land fill apparently anyway (and don’t even feel a little bit guilty)!! Be a gleeful rebel whenever you can and tell all those do-gooder, bossy, greenie, socialist types to go and stuff it!! Earth Day my arse.

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  3. Carl-Edward

    How I agree with you! What this rubbish leads to, is further social control. Even reading about it – and the lies on which it is based – makes one’s blood boil.

    If the morons who call themselves environmentalists, were made to do without the comforts of modern living, they might develop a different perspective. (There is a Hollywood: ‘actress’, who proudly states that she seldom showers in order to: ‘save the planet’! Her work stinks too.)

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  4. I did once own an Australian V8 Holden Monaro 350. It was a ferocious beast, I also knew the Green party leader Rod Donald here in NZ. The eco twat that he was, wanted a free ride to Nelson [ to save on wicked fossil fuel ] . I turned up in the big gas guzzler. In racing mode it used about a litre every 9 km. You could pass other cars in third gear at 120 km/hr then change up to top gear. This was in the days when Australians were real.

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  5. Best bumper sticker I ever saw (and yes, believe it or not, it originated in California in the mid 60’s) was:

    “Save the Whales. Harpoon a Fat Chick”

    They were especially prominent in SoCal.

    If you would dare to sport one these days your car would get keyed, and/or windshield shattered by deranged FemiNazis or their beta male cohorts. 

    Or worse, they would wait for you to return to your vehicle and beat the livin’ shit outta ya.

    Like

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