The crucial importance of a group code word.

The modern man can have every aspect of his life in order but if he commits to an unsuitable woman then he risks putting all of this in jeopardy. In today’s society he may be fortunate to walk away with the shirt on his back. Unfortunately, men are hardwired to be foolish amongst women. Perhaps this is a genetic trait that ensures the continuation of the species even in awful places like Essex.

Men do have a sort of ring of protection, if you like, in such dangerous situations when an unsuitable woman has begun to sing her harpy harmonies. A man’s close friends will instinctively know when he is peril, even though his own brain will have been temporarily deactivated. This is why a new romantic liaison will often attempt to cut off her new man from his close friends. She will whisper words of venom in his ear, sowing doubt as to the suitability of his old friends, and one by one they will be quietly dropped with little or no fanfare; the invitations will stop coming, the planned activities will be cancelled, and major events will pass with no contact at all.

In such situations it is imperative for men to have already established some sort of code word that can be communicated to just such an imperiled companion. The rules of the code word system are as follows:

  1. No friend is to use the code word frivolously. It is intended as a last resort when a female’s bad intentions are clear. It cannot even be used as a joke on a boy’s night out. It must be reserved only for emergencies. You devalue its power at your own considerable peril.
  2. With rule 1 in mind, do not wait too long to use the code word. The longer the relationship progresses, the more difficult it will be for the man to extract himself.
  3. If you are in a relationship and your friends use the code word then it behooves you to listen. You are in mortal danger and your friends may be your only hope before you suffer grave consequences.

The very best time to set up a code word system amongst your own group of friends is when one of your group has recently escaped from a disastrous relationship. With the pain fresh in mind, and with obvious evidence of one of your cohort’s members recent temporary brain malfunction, discuss amongst yourselves at what point during the relationship would have been the best time to introduce the code word.

When was it most obvious to all of the friends that one of the group was in great danger? When would have been the time when your buddy would have been most predisposed to hear and heed the given warning? Remember that during the earlier stages of even an obviously unsuitable relationship, the man will be impervious to all attempted warnings due to the constant sex that is blinding him to all else. Only once the initial infatuation period has begun to taper off will a warning using the code word be possible.

The best way to deliver the code word is up to you. Perhaps the closest member of the group one on one, or perhaps the entire group together. It depends on the individual. This is where your knowledge of your friends’ personality traits will be best put to use. It goes without saying that any group meeting will have to be kept secret from the female, which means keeping it also secret from the group member you are attempting to rescue.

Once you have delivered the code word then leave it be. You cannot extract someone from a relationship, they have to do it themselves. It may still take him several months to get out or even longer. He may not heed the warning at all. As long as you have given it your best shot. After that, it’s up to him.

 

7 thoughts on “The crucial importance of a group code word.

  1. No. Too much like the secret five boy scouts. Direct Intervention.
    Open discussion , preferably two friends not one.
    He will distrust one , you know [ ” he only wants to screw her himself “]
    As an individual you will probably be rejected but once you intervened with your observations he will start re considering.
    Successful interventions are likely when a number of friends let him know what is happening…

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  2. Peter MacFarlane

    Oi! Leave Essex out of this, please. Parts of it are awful (Billericay, Harlow, Southend), but parts are truly delightful and nothing whatever to be ashamed of or sneer at. It’s a large county of more variety than you seem to be aware of. I’ll let you off because you seem to be Australian.

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  3. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 06.14.17 : The Other McCain

  4. Saracen iii

    How about “after-she-divorce-rapes-you-I-shall-bang-her-in-the-house-you-paid-for-while-you-mind-her-kids-at-your-bed-sit-on-your-RDO-because-you-are-too-stupid-for-words”?

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