The good wife and I spent the last week in the town of Sorrento on the Amalfi coast of Italy. In those seven days I did not look at the internet, nor did I avail myself of any types of news publications. Only on the last day did I break my media and blogging fast when I picked up a copy of the New York Times at breakfast which proved to be unintentionally hilarious.
But now I am back and much catching up needs to be done. So I need to begin reading all of the sites on my blog roll, plus the other areas where I go to get the information that I need.
That is what I’ve been telling myself for the past day and thus far it hasn’t happened. I can’t bring myself to care. The disassociation that I experienced on my holiday is delicious and I do not know if I want to lose it. By going to all of the sites I will begin the process of informing myself, outraging myself, and thus losing this new found freedom of not giving a fuck.
It is not simply a case of being lazy. I feel much more inspired to begin the next series of books that I want to write. I am wondering whether or not the amount of effort that I put into writing on the blog on a daily basis is canceling out my ability to work on my books.
But it is a vicious circle. I sell books because I blog. If I hadn’t started seriously blogging then my books would have dropped off anyone’s radar some time ago. That they continue to sell on a daily basis is due to my efforts here.
I also blog because I want to express myself on important topics but now I am wondering just how important they are. After a very brief perusal of headlines I see that the usual idiots now want to start tearing down statues in Australia. How unoriginal. And how pathetic in its level of banality. Here is how the cycle goes:
- They begin some outrageous act.
- Our side responds by saying that this is outrageous and that finally things have gone too far.
- They get the oxygen that they need to continue living.
- Either they are victorious or we are.
- They do it again and we react again.
I’m getting to the point where they can just go and tear down statues. Just do it. I simply don’t care. Like children having an epic temper tantrum they just want to destroy everything. There is no stopping them by stopping an isolated act; one thing just continues to another.
The only way to stop this cycle is to do something about them. Not their acts, but them. But we’re not prepared to do that. We talk about things going too far but we’re never really prepared to actually go too far ourselves. And so it will continue.
I’m sure that this is just a post holiday level of detachment on my own part and that within a few days I will be railing at some feminist, or some faggot, or some politician, or some lunatic on our side, or some thing or another.
But I really like how I feel now.
Perhaps I just need to write my books and do my podcasting. My audience can grow or shrink. What difference is it if I get 5K views a month or 50K views or 500K views? I’ll still want the next digit. Unless I get extremely lucky I’m not going to make it by writing my books.
Or is it only losers who say that?
I’ve worked hard to get to this point but I am at a crossroads right now. This was an excellent holiday. I cleared my mind, and there was a lot of clearing to be done. I have a lot of new ideas. Some of the ideas are for things that I have been struggling to resolve for some time now. This is why I am hesitating to get right back into it. If getting back into it means that I lose this clarity then I have to be careful.
It is some paradox that I find myself in.