There’s been a bit of talk about cheating around the manosphere due to some celebrity cheating on his wife and coming up with a bunch of lame excuses. I have no idea who the guy is; apparently he was responsible for Buffy the Vampire Slayer so I’ll leave that stand as an appropriate unit of judgement.
That the guy is a self proclaimed ‘male feminist’ is pure hilarity as far as I am concerned. So he’s a successful guy in film and television, which means he can get heaps of chicks whenever he wants, but he also describes himself as a male feminist?
Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too.
Any man who ever announces that he has joined the ranks of male feminists has just one motivating factor in mind – pussy. Men only do this sort of ridiculous shit as a means to get laid. So why would this guy take this route when h e doesn’t need to?
Probably because he’s in show business. The sort of people who gravitate to those types of industries are the ones who crave external validation, and with such validation there is no arrival point. People in those industries cheat; it’s what they do. Hell, they probably would have had to cheat to get into those industries in the first place, at least if they weren’t single at the time.
Blackdragon has an article up about cheating and why he is against it. I agree with the majority of what he’s saying. The point where we differ is his insistence that monogamy cannot work and is unnatural. Being anti-monogamy based on the societal realities that we find today is understandable, but it’s kind of missing the point. 50 years of progressives doing their best to destroy the nuclear family have had an effect, but it’s a mistake to then declare that our present circumstances are the natural order of things.
But I digress. Blackdragon is against cheating because it creates loads of unnecessary drama in your life, and the act of cheating means you have oneitis which makes you a pathetic beta male. He’s absolutely right on the first point. The second point is a generalization but it’s still pretty much on target. He then adds a long list of common excuses that guys use to justify their cheating.
My thoughts on cheating are pretty straightforward. Understand that just about anyone can cheat. It doesn’t make you special. It doesn’t make you a sexual god or anything. Opportunities and temptation are always there, but often it’s the acts that we don’t do that define us as much as the things we do.
Not cheating defines who you are just as cheating does the same. In this world it’s actions that count, not words.
Men cheat for one of three reasons; either they’re insecure, they’re unhappy in their relationship, or they’re just a piece of irredeemable shit.
I think that the insecure one is probably the most common, although I could be wrong. It’s the same disease that male feminist guy has; the need for external validation. The problem with this type of validation seeking is that it will fuck up your life because you will get caught. The reason that you will get caught is because you will always be vulnerable and that in turn creates weakness based on the awareness of this vulnerability.
I know guys who have got caught cheating in the most bizarre ways. You look at the scenario and if you had to give odds on it happening that way again then you’d probably offer a million to one. And yet it happened, they got caught, and now their life is in the crapper.
Insecurity in men most often stems from the fact that they’re uncertain of their own manhood. They haven’t proved themselves in their own eyes, and so they seek validation that they are worthy of being called a man, which ironically indicates that they’re not worthy of being called a man. So if you’re cheating for this reason, understand that not only are you on the wrong path but your poor choices will most likely lead to pain everlasting.
The second reason, that of cheating due to dissatisfaction in a relationship, is truly worthy of the beta labeling that Blackdragon gave it. Not only do you not have the balls to confront your wife about what it is that isn’t working, but you haven’t got the guts to leave her either. It truly is the cowards way out. It’s also important to realize that the only women who will cheat with you in such a situation will inevitably end up being as bad or even worse than your present relationship. With such unstable cheating partners, consider it highly likely that they will inform your wife of your affair to suit their own ends.
Once you cheat, your old life ends. Think of it as a line in time. There was your life before you cheated, and then there is your life after that moment. You can never retrace your steps. Likewise when your wife finds out, everything changes in that moment. If it was a good relationship but you cheated due to your own insecurities, then it will be irreparably broken. There was your relationship before your wife found out, and then there is everything that came after. You can’t put it back together. You can try but it will be like repairing a broken vase. You will see the cracks.
Don’t be tricked into believing that you’re cool or unique because you cheat. It’s mundane, boring, and a terrible cliche. A guy the other day boasted to me about how he cheats with his wife. He told me this because he thought that I would be impressed. Maybe that’s all he’s got to impress me with. Whatever the case, now he’s going around telling people that he’s cheating so he can get even more external validation, (that didn’t come his way from me). Can you see how these guys get found out?
Once a cheater always a cheater is a truism for the simple fact that insecure guys almost never deal with the real problem.