COTW – Thinking that you’re somehow above the rules of the game.

Comment of the week comes from regular leftie commenter Dan on the Nice Guys Never Win article.

Interesting article Adam. I was certainly one of those ‘nice guys’ that never, ever got lucky with women. I was completely hopeless and I used to stress about it no end. I then began to focus more on my music and started writing some pretty decent songs and eventually met my wife at one of my gigs. I never stopped being a nice guy, however, I merely focused on my passion and spent less time worrying about being lonely.
I was probably luckier than most to meet someone who I clicked with so immediately and so strongly. Most people do not have this experience.
The whole red pill ‘game’ thing might be important to some men in navigating relationships but it doesn’t make much sense to me. I consider myself fully committed to my personal and political principles and I still think I’m a nice guy.

Self-confirmed nice guy Dan believes that he is above it all because he “clicked so strongly” with the woman who became his wife. And it may well continue to work out for him  in the long run. Plenty of guys are as beta as it comes but they stumble onto a woman who truly loves them for who they are, and they proceed through life blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurk around them.

I hope that Dan continues on this path, for his children’s sake. But perhaps the gods of misfortune will glance in his direction and a day will come when suddenly his world is turned upside down.

Many men come to the red pill because they have nowhere else to go. They have hit rock bottom. That’s when they finally realise that they are not above it all and that the rules of the game apply to them as much as they do to everyone else. It is extremely common in the manosphere to hear a man utter the words, ‘I never thought that it would happen to me’ or ‘I never thought that she would up and leave me like that’.

That’s when the real learning begins.

8 thoughts on “COTW – Thinking that you’re somehow above the rules of the game.

  1. I’m not even sure what being a “nice guy” means. Do I practice good manners? As much as possible. I treat my animals humanely, who doesn’t? I try never to raise my voice to my wife, that would be rude. On occasion I even pay heed to others. Does that make me nice?

    I suspect being considered a nice guy is virtue signaling, or a type of white knighting.

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    1. Richard

      Thats not my definition of a nice guy. I choose to do all of those things too because they are standards I believe in. If you cling to those standards out of spinelesnes thats the nice guy syndrome.

      I want people to say of me (as Cernovich has claimed ohers have said of him) ‘he’s the nicest guy ever, just don’t piss him off’. Have backbone underneath the fluff.

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  2. Richard

    Thats not my definition of a nice guy. I choose to do all of those things too because they are standards I believe in. If you cling to those standards out of spinelesnes thats the nice guy syndrome.

    I want people to say of me (as Cernovich has claimed ohers have said of him) ‘he’s the nicest guy ever, just don’t piss him off’. Have a backbone underneath the fluff.

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  3. Dan Flynn

    I’m glad I’m contributing constructively to the blog Adam!

    ‘‘I never thought that it would happen to me’ or ‘I never thought that she would up and leave me like that’’
    To me this is such a lame ass perspective because the men were clearly oblivious to the real state of their relationships. They had no idea what was happening in the minds of their wives. This is a big fucking problem and one I do not have with my wife because we actually communicate.
    When people do not communicate properly, i.e. don’t talk, keep secrets, hide their true feelings etc, negativity can build up and people can grow apart and that is when someone decides to leave. This shit does not simply come out of nowhere and anyone who tells you otherwise was simply not paying attention.
    A word of marital advice:
    Marry someone you actually like and communicate properly with them and, if there ever comes a time when it is no longer working, at least you will be aware of it and might be able to do something.

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  4. Pingback: Grand Designs is not a show about architecture. – Adam Piggott

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