Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

COTW – Two rules for dealing with women.

Comment of the week comes from Techie Dude over on the most popular article of this week about women running into walls and going “splat!”

I have a couple women friends that are divorced. One, a few years back when she was in her 40s asked if I had any single dude friends. Had to let her down. I did, of course. Monied, single/divorced early, no baggage, living the life friends roughly her age. It was tough to tell her that the women they were dating (and having no trouble getting them) were all in their late 20s, early thirties. These dudes know what they are all about and won’t go near a late 30s and older woman with baggage or hangups, even for just sex. Just not on their radar.

Didn’t tell her this, but after a period, she’ll become attractive to old dudes in their sixties whose wives died, are beyond, or just beyond sex, and just want companionship.

Seen that a bunch as well. To a man, they protect their assets though.

The comment of the week is not necessarily the best comment, but the one that propels me to expand upon the point that the commenter is making.

Techie Dude’s observations are spot on, but they led me to consider the overall ramifications of what he is saying. And I think it would make an excellent general rule for guys.

Never date a woman who is older than you.

As always with any decision we need to consider the potential upsides and downsides. In this case the potential upsides of dating an older woman are few and far between. I am sure for many of you that the immediate one would be that she is more experienced in bed and doesn’t want kids because she already has them or is even too old. To that I will respond, sleep with them sure, but do not date them.

We are talking about relationships here, not sex.

You never want to have a relationship with an older woman for the simple reason that the dynamic will be wrong. All relationships are based upon a power equation, and all women want to feel like their man is powerful. One of the biggest ways to achieve this feeling is with an older man. But the situation where a woman is dating a man who is younger than her creates a power inversion. This is particularly true when she is earning more than her partner.

Another reason for avoiding older women is that the older they get and the more men they have been with, the greater their portion of the great cup of bitterness.

Single women get bitter and spiteful with age in a way that men don’t, because every added cock scours a woman’s soul while every added pussy gilds a man’s soul. Bad relationship experiences accumulating over the years can potentially embitter both men and women, but men in my observation, when they bounce back, are more seamlessly able to reconstitute a loving relationship with a new woman minus the emotional baggage of past women who left them with foul memories. In contrast, women who have run through failed relationships tend to dump increasingly heavy loads of baggage on their new men.

I consider the ideal age gap to be around 7 to 10 years for a man in his mid thirties.

But back to Techie Dude’s comment and the first line that I quoted:

I have a couple women friends that are divorced.

First of all, guys and girls cannot be friends. Second of all, there is another rule that all men should scrupulously observe:

Never date a woman who has been divorced.

Apart from the extreme level of bitterness, the major factor here is that she has already proven her unsuitability for commitment by her very actions. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women. It’s just like beginning a relationship with someone while they’re still with someone else. If she cheated on him for you then she’ll cheat on you for someone else. So with divorces, if she divorced him then there’s a good chance that she’ll divorce you too.

Which brings me to BWV’s comment from the same article as Techie Dude’s:

One thing that I think is important in this whole failing traditional relationship dynamic is the philosophy that so many modern women seem to have absorbed from somewhere. It has two main components that are:

1) Happiness is the most important thing.
2) It wasn’t meant to be.

Rule 1 allows her to escape any situation that isn’t pleasing to her. Rule 2 allows her to escape any guilt because something/someone other than herself has ordained that is isn’t meant to be.

No one will be happy – at the level they’d like to be happy at – with their marriage 100% of the time. We all know this.

And when that time comes, she will reason thus:

I used to be really happy when this relationship started.
I’m not happy now.
Happiness is the most important thing.
Therefore this wasn’t meant to be.

And having gone through that process, she will call a lawyer and contribute her fair share to the 70% of divorces initiated by women.

I say all that to say this: Any woman, regardless of age, education, financial situation or hotness… who in any way believes Rule 1 or Rule 2 or Both – is not, and likely never will be, mentally stable enough for marriage.

The older single or divorced women get, the more susceptible they are to this diseased way of thinking. Avoid them at all costs. They have ruined themselves.


Friday links & hawt chicks – The economics edition.


The cross-dressing lunatics are running the asylum.


  1. Hans

    Adam, can you please set me up with a young, hotty, Dutch chick…..?
    Thanks in advance.

  2. Puts some of us in a bind. Divorced due to addiction issues of ex-spouse. Early 50s. Not interested in having kids at this point because I don’t want to be raising them into my 70s. Choices, 40s with former or current kids and divorced; 30s and probably going to want kids; 20s and waaaay to young to be interesting.

    Not many options left but no one talks about this particular situation on any of the “advice” boards.

    Also makes me wonder. If I am divorced and I consider myself a reasonable person and a good catch who did NOT divorce for frivolous reasons, couldn’t there be women out there in a similar situation? How do I find them or pick them out of the crowd?

    Meanwhile I just keep getting older and the situation keeps getting worse (from the above perspective).

    • Heresolong, I hear you. My first wife died when I was in my 40’s. Yeah, you’re more interested in older women for some pretty good reasons. Stable, financially sound, what have you. Most of the women I dated were widows in professions who went back to work after their loss. The vast majority of them were keepers. Many of them I met through mutual friends, and at various social functions.

      That there is the key, getting out and mixing it up in society, with the added bonus of doing something good outside of work. Volunteer to sit on boards that have openings, if you’re handy with tools volunteer with Habitat for Humanity. If your into the outdoors volunteer for your county’s Search and Rescue. Your local library and historical society usually needs volunteers. You’d be surprised how you can meet quality older women (divorced or not) in this fashion. Women only into themselves usually aren’t real big on volunteering.

    • Adam

      Heresolong, it’s a really good question and I feel that it needs a rambling answer so this week’s podcast episode will feature it.

  3. I have been in long term relationships with two women older than me, 1 and 3 years respectively. Hands down they were better partners than any of the younger women I dated. I suspect their age had nothing to do with it, though.

  4. Heresolong,

    Try the women in their 40s who never had kids. Don’t choose one from an Anglo-Saxon country.

  5. TechieDude

    Wow! I’m honored. Almost like winning the lottery.

    That said; “First of all, guys and girls cannot be friends”, Not so.

    I’m in my 50s. These women are 1-2 years older than me. They are also friends with my wife, probably more so than me. But they were my friends first. We have zero sexual attraction (Even though they are relatively easy on the eyes (as much as a 50s woman could be, I suppose).

    I’d agree if everyone involved here was younger. And it’s not the same type or level of friendship as my guy friends.

    • Luke

      Re “men and women CAN TOO be friends!!!”:

      You’re wrong.

      Read everything over at

  6. Lloyd Martin Hendaye

    “Old age is a shipwreck” – le grande Charles de Gaulle

    As sages put it: We are here (too long?) to learn. What do we learn?– we learn to love. How do we love?– we learn to give. What do we give?– with due respect, bequeath all that matters –one’s own life and wisdom– to posterity: Bestow a legacy of peace and prosperity, withal the freedom to “go your way” we have enjoyed.

    Rejoice! Marry ability, character, integrity to good faith, benign intentions, honest effort, you never will go wrong.

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