Aaron Clarey brought to my attention the following video of Tinder’s latest marketing campaign. Their brilliant plan? Shame men, of course.
Now there has already been a fair amount of discrediting of this commercial around our side of the internet fence. Matt Forney has a thorough take down of it here, and Aaron has also done a video on the topic.
But to me the question is whether the folks at Tinder have collectively lost their minds or is this all a strategic calculation. Although I have never used Tinder, (thank the Lord), it sounds as if it operates along the same line as late night bars. Namely, the men are the customers and the women are the product. This is why the girls get in free and skip the line while you schmucks have to stand out in the rain and then buy them drinks when you’re inside.
Okay, so if the women are the product then we need to approach the commercial with this in mind. The commercial is designed to encourage more women to join Tinder. Their approach is to assure the ladies that they will be able to easily identify the “douchebags” while retaining the illusion that the ladies themselves are pure and of noble intent.
The manosphere reaction to this has been to lose its collective mind. Tinder, however has not pulled the commercial. Sure they have disabled comments and votes but that was also strategic. To understand if this will work or not for Tinder you have to consider how the womenfolk are reacting to all of this.
The ladies see the commercial and are reassured, then they observe men losing their collective minds. This leads them to believe that Tinder has a point, that there are many such “douchebags” but that Tinder is onto it and will enable the lovely ladies to escape their awful clutches.
The end result will be more ladies on Tinder. This will lead to more guys signing up to get the ladies, because, and this is crucial to understand, no matter how self righteous men get on any given topic, and no matter what short term actions they may take to support this same self righteousness, (canceling their Tinder accounts), when it comes to getting pussy all bets are off once the smoke has cleared.
So this commercial is pretty smart on Tinder’s part. They reassure the gals, the gals sign up, word gets out that there are more gals on Tinder, and the desperadoes abandon all of their short term principles. After all, you can pose as much as you want in public, but in private, hypocrisy is merely a swipe away.
Now, I know that the commercial is awful, and that it demeans men, and all the other stuff. But do you actually think for a moment that that is what the Tinder office looks like? It’s a commercial for chrissakes. It’s make believe.
However, at this point I must tangent somewhat. Aaron’s video is actually quite important. In it he describes how awful the dating market is, not just now, but when he was at its mercy back in the 90s, as was I. And he makes a really prescient point. Women rejecting you does not reflect so much on your own inadequacies but rather on their own. In other words, it’s not you; it’s them.
A great salesman does not go out hunting for yeses. He’s looking for noes. Because he understands that every person who says no means that he is another step closer to finding one who says yes. But there is another aspect to it. Every person who says no was most likely inappropriate for you in the first place. And if they shoot you down in a cruel way, their bad behavior is a clear sign that you wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with them.
Which means far from getting discouraged at being rejected by women, rejoice in the clear messaging that you are receiving. You are trying to find a match, and a match means someone who fits with you. The rejections matter because by receiving those rejections, you are weeding out them.
This is an extremely powerful concept because once you fully grasp it then you are really on your way to being in control of your personal life. Being rejected matters because that is the only way that you can sort through the chaff to find the grain.
And speaking of chaff, that is the other ultimate benefit of Tinder. It collects unsuitable women and removes them from the general dating marketplace. Any woman who is actively on Tinder is not looking for personal relationships out in the real world, and any woman who would demean herself by being on Tinder is unsuitable to begin with. Tinder reduces the signal to noise ration for those of you who are prepared to get outside and meet women the old fashioned way.
So rejoice in Tinder’s commercial and rejoice in rejection. After all, they are both the same thing. They unintentionally exist for your own benefit.