Over at Asshole Consulting, Aaron Clarey received a video request from a client who requested for Aaron to go into detail about what was the hardest question he has had to face in his life. Aaron contemplated this and realised that the most difficult thing he has had to grapple with was the perplexity associated with wondering what was wrong with him.
Even though I’m not much of a video guy I sat through and watched this until the end, for I too was in the same position when I was a young man.
To sum up the message in the video, Aaron spent years smashing his head against a brick wall and not getting anywhere; with girls, with his career, in a social sense with other guys, (being not particularly thrilled with the idea to go to a bar to watch a sports game), and all the while trying to work out what was wrong with him. He turned over every stone available to peer underneath in an effort to discover the truth. He tried changing his clothes, his hair, (maybe he should have tried changing his soap brand), but nothing worked. All he got was rejection, pain, and failure.
And then he finally understood that it wasn’t him, the individual; it was society that had the problem. All of his bosses were morons. Girls in Generation X got infected by the feminist mind virus and collectively began behaving towards their male peers in a way that would have been completely unacceptable a few decades earlier.
And once Aaron understood this, once he had grokked this most important of life lessons, at that point he was free. He was relieved of the chains of society that fell away from him in a dusty heap. He saw through the lies. He saw his bosses’ behavior for what it was; fear that Aaron would take their jobs due to his abilities. He saw that these beautiful women that he had held aloft on a high pedestal were actually vacant dimwits with a masters degree in self absorption. He understood that he couldn’t go to a banal public gathering and enjoy himself because he himself was not banal and mediocre.
So it’s a great video, a wonderful video. But, and I say this with all due respect, he’s only half way there in understanding what is involved here.
At the end of the video Aaron expresses the desire that he wished he had had someone to tell him this stuff. It’s important to understand that Generation X, my own generation, are the true lost generation. We are the lost boys. Due to massive upheavals in society, our fathers did not pass down to us the lessons and teachings that had been passed to them, the first time that this happened in hundreds of years, if ever. But at the same time we did not have the internet to be able to find out what we needed to know on our own. In the 80s and 90s and early 2000s, we were in the wasteland.
Many of my generation fell by the wayside as they did not try to fathom the unfathomable. They accepted their lot, shrugged their shoulders in helplessness, and hoped for the best. But a few of us weren’t satisfied. Like Aaron, I was desperate to find out what was wrong with me. My first book is a chronology of this journey. I felt useless, and helpless, and hopeless, and I didn’t want to feel that way. I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to be masculine and have power over my own destiny.
I too tried changing everything about myself. Just clothing itself was an impossibility. In previous generations men had had a uniform. It was not conformity; it was about belonging to a club, a club of men. But then the wretched Boomers declared that those clothes were square, man, and so ten years later you had young guys like me who had no idea what was an acceptable way to dress. My generation had to reinvent and rediscover everything while being told that we were the lowest pieces of shit imaginable by the morons who had collectively fucked things up for us.
The only people who excelled in that environment were morons themselves.
So why do I think that Aaron is only halfway there? At one point he urges young guys to not take shit from women and to blow them off if the girls behave badly. But he immediately qualifies this by stating that you can’t be a dodgy dude bro arrogant chad about it. You have to be more like Cary Grant.
And that right there is the second half of the equation. In order to blow off that girl the right way, the respectful way, you have to have done all that previous work, years of work, to turn over every stone and peer underneath so as to be able to gain the knowledge and the wisdom and the self confidence to be able to act like a Cary Grant in a given situation.
There are no short cuts. You can read as many books as you like, watch as many inspiration videos as time allows, listen to every manner of wise men on podcasts telling you how it needs to be done. But until you go out there and turn over every single damn rock and peer beneath it in an attempt to find out where you sit in relation to all of the complexities of life, you won’t know a damn thing.
Clarey declares that there is nothing wrong with you; it’s society, and he is right. But until you have turned over every rock and finally come to the true understanding, the swallowing of the red pill, then you yourself are that society. You have no business making that declaration if you have not made the journey, if you have not yet made a man of yourself. To do so is to be a fraud, a fraud of masculinity itself.
We see these frauds all around us. Not only did they take the easy way out, they didn’t have the personal gumption to just shut the fuck up and keep their heads down afterwards. No, they have to cover their personal deficiencies by lecturing the rest of us with the mindless drivel of infants. Sniveling pieces of flotsam like the dipshit Jonathan McIntosh that I wrote about the other day.
Clarey’s video is spot on but you have to get there yourself. You cannot just watch that and then declare to yourself that your own boss is a moron and you know more than him. You have to, in fact, know more than him, and you have to fully comprehend why he is wrong. If I had watched this video 25 years ago I still would have had to go through all of the same shit that I went through to get where I am now. I needed to unlearn 15 years of false messages from my parents, my schools, my peers, and what society told me through the media. You’re not blank slates, guys. You’re just as screwed up as we were, if not more.
The great benefit that this video and other wisdom of its type gives you is that you know that you are on the right path. That, my young friends, is your great advantage over us. You know that not only are you not alone, you’re not crazy for not being satisfied with the existence of a worthless sheep. It can be done. Men like myself and Aaron Clarey have done it. The internet is full of men who have done it, but if you take our numbers and compare them to the population of the western world then the equation is nothing short of pitiful.
Out of all my childhood peers I know of only one other who did the hard work and got there like me.
So watch Aaron’s video. But do not delude yourself that you are already there. There are no short cuts. If there were then you wouldn’t need to be on this planet.