Back when I was a young man and struggling to understand how to get girls, my problem was a lack of information on the subject. Not only was there virtually none, but it was the late 80s, a time where the pussification of men was really getting going. This was the time when the term SNAG, which stood for sensitive new age guy, surfaced its gibbering and demented head. Everywhere I looked I received confirmation that the way to get girls was to woo her heart with niceness.
We guys didn’t give each other advice. That would have been unacceptable. It just wasn’t done to go up to a mate and inquire as to how he got so many more chicks than you. To do so would have been an outright admission of weakness, and we were already weak enough, thank you very much.
Although I do remember getting one tidbit of advice from someone. This guy told me that the best way to get girls into bed was to say that you wanted to “make love” to them. Which went about as well as you can imagine.
Fast forward to today and young men with half an ounce of intelligence and pluck have the opposite problem. It is an information saturated environment on the internet, an environment with a great deal of wrong and misleading information. There are a great many guys bragging about doing things that they have never once in their lives even come close to doing.
To all you young guys out there; I get it. You want to get girls. You don’t really care how fucked up they are with feminism and prog ideology. You just want to get your dick wet, as we used to say. I get it because I’ve been there. If you’re not careful it can take over your life, and you stand to be most in danger if you’re relatively unsuccessful.
There are three types of guys in the sexual marketplace. Guys who always get laid, guys who never get laid, and guys who sometimes get laid. Of the three types, the ones who are most in danger of spiraling out of control with chicks and making truly dreadful mistakes are the last group; the guys who sometimes get laid.
Guys who always get laid are in control. Guys who never get laid are out of the picture, and they know it. But guys who sometimes get laid are the ones who are the most sexually stressed out. They try and try and try, never getting anywhere. But then, inexplicably, they get lucky. They get a temporary confidence boost, they think they’re finally shit hot, and they go out the next night and get shot down in flames. Again.
I was in that last group. It was truly dreadful. My physical qualities would attract women, and then my beta outlook would repel them. There is nothing more frustrating than knowing that the key to unlocking constant sex is achievable and probably within reach, but you have no idea of what it is.
My manosphere blogroll directs to writers that know what they are talking about on this subject, and the other day I read a truly brilliant piece courtesy of Chateau Heartiste. Needless to say, if I had read this 25 years ago I am certain that it would have made a significant impact on my life.
To sum up the post, men and women desire different outcomes in the game of sex. They have different notches, so to speak. For a man the required notch is intercourse.
The Man Notch — which traditionally and properly is simply known as the Notch — is meaningless without a finish line crossing. No man ever earned a notch with hours of foreplay and then a night spent spooning the girl through her jeans as his blue balls weighed heavily with unreleased pressure. For men, ego gratification is the rope of validation unleashed by PIV. Anything less than a Final Coition has the opposite effect on his ego, deflating it from a precoital high; though kissing and a gentle rebuff at the decisive moment is not nearly as ego-shattering as outright rejection on the approach, it is a fact that men feel a twinge of failure, as if they let themselves down, if they can’t close the deal when all the signs were pointing to vajhalla.
Blue balls is a clear sign that you are doing it wrong. It is a roadside marker lit with bright flashing lights. You only ignore it at your peril.
So what is the girl notch then? It can’t be intercourse because of the fact that women are perfectly happy spooning for the night while you get blue balls. Think about it. If intercourse was also their preferred outcome then you would be getting laid a lot more and not suffering from the horrible blue ball malady.
A woman’s notch is to feel wanted. The affirmation of male desire. Thus, if you explicitly communicate that you desire her then she will be content at most with a little fooling around before she contentedly goes to sleep.
Now, its a case by case basis. Her sluttiness, horniness (often cycle dependent), drunkenness also play a role. But in general, most girls worth laying (read: White girls) are perfectly happy to just play goalie and make out, allowing boob feels and giving no nookie.
It makes her feel good, wanted.
To go further with a girl, she needs to think she has to win you over because you’ll walk away if she doesn’t.
Guys in the first group get laid whenever they want because they understand that they are the prize, not the girls. This is the opposite of everything that you have probably ever been told.
This is the skeleton key to opening pussy: You’re the prize, and she has to win you over. Every man who can be called a beta male forgets this lesson, or disregards it out of spite and an addiction to noble losing and daydreaming about what could have been. Betas appease, alphas tease.
A girl knows a beta male is a sure thing, and that sucks all the tension and excitement out of her interest in him. But the alpha male leaves her wondering if he’s really that into her or if she’s up to his standards, and this will compel her to work harder to please him and earn his affection.
To wrest the real notch from a girl, you have to deny her the Girl Notch. And that means taunting her ego with the idea that uncertainty is the rule and validation is the exception.
To achieve this you have to be willing to walk away, which means that you have to overcome the twin dangers of having a scarcity mindset and succumbing to oneitis. Betas never walk away because they convince themselves that whatever girl gives them even a hint of attention is “the one”. They also dwell in the accursed land of scarcity. This is always self inflicted because there is a literal abundance of women out there.
So how did I finally flip the switch and work out how to get girls with an excellent strike rate? Without all of the information available today it took something else to propel me to try something different. The catalyst was an episode of the sitcom Seinfeld.
You may laugh, but this was all I had at the time. And I still needed to break through such dangerous concepts as oneitis. But this episode launched me on a different path, a direction that I had to willingly choose to make. If everything you’ve ever done hasn’t worked out for you, then the only thing remaining is to try the opposite.
You’re the prize, not her. And if you don’t consider yourself to be a prize then it’s time to begin making a man of yourself.