Apparently the biggest tax moocher in the history of the world has taken all of that taxpayer money and used it to send one of his shitty cars into space. It’s probably the best place for it as it has a far better chance of not falling to pieces up there in the black nothingness.
Some of you may be aware that I am not a fan of Tesla. Elon Musk is a crook with the stupidest name in history, and the cars he makes are driven by douchebags. But more than that the cars themselves are crap; really, really crap. Below the fold I have a few interesting tidbits on this topic. You might think he’s brilliant for sending rockets into space, but you’d be a douchebag if you thought that.
These guys tear down new vehicles to see their build quality. Notice the date of the video is from only a week ago. Tesla has been extremely strict about which journalists get their cars and these guys obviously weren’t on the list. I wonder why?
Oh yeah – because they’re not whores masquerading as journalists.
The money quote – “These are flaws that we would see on a KIA in the early nineties.”
There are heaps of Tesla fanboy videos on Youtube where they show all of the defects of their cars and then go on to pronounce it as the best car eva!!! So I won’t be linking to any of those, you can do your own dirty work. But this article is very illustrative of what is going on with this company and the hype that surrounds it:
The truth behind Doug Demuro’s Tesla Model 3 review.
Before you click that link you need to keep in mind that the writer’s biggest dream would be to suck Musk’s cock, although the sub-heading of “Here’s why the Tesla 3 is the coolest car of 2017” might give it away.
All those Tesla shorts harping on production issues, firings, and the minutiae of the house of Musk? Like DeMuro, they’re missing the big picture. Even if everything the trolls say is true, Tesla is too big to fail. I don’t mean the company. I mean the brand, which is the company.
Too big to fail. Where have I heard that before? And build quality? We don’t need no pesky build quality when we’re changing the world, man!
In an increasingly commoditized world, brand is everything. By that standard, Tesla has already won. Every Model 3 would literally have to explode on opening the door for the brand to take a hit, and even then it probably wouldn’t matter.
It wouldn’t matter if the world’s media didn’t report on it and instead kept trumpeting the propaganda that Tesla is awesome cuz rockets!
He goes on for a bit about the fact that almost nobody in the automotive review world can get their hands on one of these cars to review it. Why is that? Because Tesla needs to control the narrative, man, and anyway there have been a couple of official reviews and guess what?
No explosions. Tesla wins.
Seriously. The cars didn’t explode so Tesla is awesome. But it gets better.
Anyone who doesn’t think Tesla is the Apple of transportation is crazy.
I must be crazy then because as far as I know Apple doesn’t exist because of government handouts and subsidies, and it also hasn’t posted a massive financial loss measuring in the hundreds of millions of dollars for every year of its existence.
The genius of the Model 3 is the inversion of expectations and total break from the past. Its only forebear is the Model S. Spiritually, maybe even the Citroën DS. Every design “flaw” is a feature, not a defect. One can’t compare the Model 3 to anything else on the market, because Tesla is selling an idea—albeit one with functionalities attached.
Did you get that? All of the flaws are really features. Your door won’t close properly? That’s a feature. The kids can’t get out of the rear doors in an emergency and burn to death while screaming in agony? Another feature. Or maybe functionalities. Who can tell?
But it gets even more fantastic, and by fantastic I mean stupid.
Then, in the biggest mystery of all, a Tesla Model 3 appears on Instagram, sitting on a pier in Manhattan Beach. Approximately 50 hours later, that car appears on Instagram parked in front of the Red Ball Garage in New York City—the traditional start line of the real Cannonball Run race.
How did a Tesla Model 3 get across country over an hour faster than a Model S P85D? The Model 3 is lighter and more aerodynamic than an S, but its largest battery pack is rumored to be a 75. No one’s talking. Not Tesla, and not the alleged drivers of the Model 3 that allegedly set this alleged record.
Why? Who knows? Any potential evidence of this new record has disappeared.
Something is happening.
This guy has presumably never heard the incredible news that cars can be loaded onto cargo planes. Seriously. Does fanboy stupidity get any dumber than this? Something is happening all right; the entire automotive journalism industry is doing to itself with Tesla what the mainstream media did with Trump – completely and utterly destroying themselves by throwing away any last vestiges of credibility that once remained. If any other car manufacturer had released this pile of shit they would have been crucified by the media and gone out of business the very next day. But not Tesla. While Musk collects billions of dollars of taxpayer money to build shitty cars that fall apart as they’re wheeled out of the showroom, he uses some of that same money to send rockets into space and oooooooohhh … aaaaaaahhhhhhh … look at the pretty rocket the really smart guy made. Why, he’s an entrepreneur!
You fucking douchebags. You deserve these cars. Next.
There is a plausible theory that any woman who appears in a “reality” TV show is a candidate for the label of “Train Smash Woman” (definition here). But even among reality TV shows, the execrable TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) on Brit TV is one long litany of Train Smashdom.
Allow me, then, to present a splendid example of the TOWIE Train Smash: Lauren Goodger. Here’s what she looked like when she first appeared on the show:
Click to see photos that document a woman as she runs into the wall whist riding on a speeding locomotive.
Roissy has written the best explanation of game and seduction on a date that I have ever seen. He takes a date from a reality show where a true alpha seduces a very hawt chick and deconstructs what the guy is doing and the reasoning behind it.
Cucumber in her tailpipe game.
0:24-0:29 — She drops her first shit test. “Up here please”. He passes it with flying colors. (A betadroid would have apologized for his impudence.)
Read the article, then watch the video, then read it again for good measure. Sheer brilliance.
Wow. You’ve really got us over a barrel with this.
This is like Sophie’s Choice, except where you don’t like either of the kids and are actually ready to shed them both.
Keep her movin’.
This is why war is inevitable now. To the average person, it is increasingly obvious that one-half of the political spectrum is totally divorced from reality. When one half of the population hates the other half and can justify doing anything to them—including getting them fired from their jobs, arresting them for hate speech, spying on them, and physically attacking them—no compromise or peace is possible. As the Bible put it, one cannot be unequally yoked.
There might be a civil war but it won’t be along the lines of 1862 or 1936. It will be more like 1980 Beirut.
The more feminism has succeeded — in a world where political power is regarded as the only measure of “success” — the more miserable women have become, and the less trust there is between men and women.
Already women complain about their inability to get men to marry them (examples here). Many young men say that they are unlikely to marry. If this becomes widespread, a generation of women seeking to have it all will get little. Less than the husband, house, and children that their mothers had. That will be bitter for young feminists who felt themselves superior to their unwoken mothers.
They forgot the part about sending an email to Elon Musk letting him know that he’s getting another tax subsidy.
What English sounds like to Italians.
Have a good weekend, and remember – if it’s not on then it’s all over the blanket.