The Other McCain had a piece up this week where he disparaged the manosphere.
Why do some guys win with the ladies and some guys always lose? When I occasionally read the kind of “advice” (if you could call it that) emerging from the so-called “Manosphere,” sometimes I’m troubled by the mood of despair and resentment expressed by these congeries of losers. Let’s face it — if a guy’s really winning, he’s not going to have much time or patience for the endless blabber about “Alpha” vs. “Beta” males, and other pseudo-scientific Darwinian discourse endlessly rehashed among devotees of pickup artist (PUA) culture.
Ouch. As a writer in the manosphere bloc I have to say that when I read this I sure wasn’t feeling the love. McCain has conflated PUA culture with the manosphere, as if the two are one and the same when in fact they are very different. Game is an important component of being a man but game in of itself as a reason for one’s own existence is spectacularly unhealthy and self-destructive. Which is why I have never associated with the PUA community in any way. Even so it is a regular insult that detractors throw at me, (not that McCain mentioned me in any way, which he did not).
No, if a guy is really winning, he’s so busy with real-life women that he’s not going to spend hours on some PUA forum talking about women as theoretical abstractions. Nor should we expect that the winner would freely share the secrets of his success with losers. Like he’s a philanthropist or something?
If we take McCain’s post at face value then this should be the end of the argument. As a guy either you are a winner or a loser with the hawt chicks. If you’re a winner then you’re out there scoring, but if you’re a loser then you’re just a sad person who feels the need to talk with other sad men on the internet about all of the pussy that you’re collectively not scoring.
The message is that winners win while losers talk about it. The assumption is that losers cannot turn themselves into winners by talking about it on message boards. The final message is that real winners never share their bag of tricks.
So if that is the case why did McCain then spend the better part of another few thousand words sharing his bag of tricks with us poor romantic peons? After making his opening statement that only losers talk on the internet about how to pull chicks, he then spends a whole bunch of time writing on the internet about how to pull chicks.
And McCain’s advice reflects a world that largely doesn’t even exist anymore:
Say you’re a young man attending a social gathering — e.g., a frat party — and you’re on the hunt, as young men always are. You’ve got your act together, and you’ve got The Attitude. You’re well-dressed, well-groomed, and you don’t just walk into the party, you move across the room.
Apart from the fact that on-campus feminists have largely banned frat parties, this is not how the young peoples hook up anymore. McCain is describing something that is so out of date he may as well have written about how modern dating works based on an entire viewing of Little House on the Prairie.
McCain’s piece is about having the attitude and in this he is entirely correct. The problem is that his advice is more or less completely outdated. As an older man if you cannot decipher what is going on in the attached image then you really have no business advising the young-ins on how to play the modern dating game. It is a completely different world out there from even 10 years ago.
In the end McCain went against his own standards and attempted to give advice to men in order that they may better themselves. That is entirely in accordance with what the manosphere actually exists for. As such I can only applaud his efforts, even if I had to take a few hits as he came out swinging at the start.