Followers of this blog know that the modern man does not cry.

Someone needs to tell that to Steve Smith, recently fired captain of the Australian cricket team:

Or to now ex-coach Darren Lehmann who resigned today and also turned on the waterworks:

These guys are crying for one reason only; they got caught. Not only that, they got caught and they weren’t allowed to wave it off with the usual modern management blather of “people will learn something” and “we’ll move on” and how about “we’ll come back strong”?

All those cliches were uttered by Steve Smith at the press conference the day they got caught cheating at the national game. For those who are living in Mali and might not have caught the news; (seriously, I got bailed up by my colleagues at work about this on Monday – since when do the Dutch know or care anything about cricket?), the captain and vice captain of the Australian cricket team conspired to cheat by tampering with the ball on the current tour of South Africa. To make matters even more disgraceful, neither of them had the guts to do it themselves so they manipulated a junior member of the team to do the dirty deed.

I’m glad Lehmann has resigned because since he took the reins as coach the team has had a distinctly unhealthy culture that rewarded sycophants and suckholes who jumped on the Warner/Lehmann clique like giddy schoolgirls desperate to ingratiate themselves with the latest opening batsman. A lot of current players on that team have sucked a great deal of metaphorical cock to get where they are now.

But back to the tears. Oh, the tears. The tears of men who have never grown up. Who believed that they were untouchable.

Well, once a cheat always a cheat as far as I’m concerned. At least ex-vice captain David Warner has had the sense not to publicly wallow in his own misery by throwing one of these atrocious press conferences. How about the unknown hand that gently pats poor little Steve Smith on the back when he has to take a deep breath due to the awfulness of it all? Spare me the theatrics, boys. It was all about you and it’s still all about you. About how you’re feeling, about how you’re hurting, about how you hope that one day you’ll have forgiveness, and so on and so on.

Egos totally out of control. Modern sport is a spectacle of mediocre personalities locked in a game of who can be the biggest narcissist. And when they get caught and are amazed to discover that they can’t walk away from it, out come the crocodile tears of impotent grief at the fact that amazingly, even in modern Australia, the public still expects people in positions of responsibility to live with the consequences of their actions.

If only the public demanded the same of our miserable politicians.

PS, Justin Langer for Aussie coach.