I’ll have a VB thanks, mate.

The Z Man has a post about how not to be a boring person. I struggled through to the end because I was so bored. Ha Ha! – I kid.

Anyhoo, people are not the only things that can be boring. Animals can be boring. I’ve met some very boring dogs. Cats are boring by default. When you meet a cat who is not boring it shines a light on all of the feline boredom that you have been putting up with for so long. Goldfish are probably the most boring creatures on the planet. A goldfish that bores the other goldfish must be very boring indeed.

Things can also be boring. Take beer, for example. Craft beer has been boring for a very long time now. In Australia craft beer began in the late 80s in Perth with the Matilda Bay Brewing Company. I worked for those guys for a while back in their glory days, (one of my first jobs), and they had some great beers. Redback, Dogbolter, Pils, Brass Monkey Stout; not boring beer at all. Honest beer for the honest wanker.

Craft beer has of course completely jumped the shark and is now almost beyond parody. Almost.

There are some great beers over here in The Netherlands but I find myself going back more and more to local supermarket staples. I refuse to describe the taste of these beers to you; it’s fucking beer, okay? What I will say is that beyond all doubt they do not have any floral notes, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

If I were still living in Australia I think that I would have to return to the real beers of my youth. Regular beers that manly men drank whilst doing manly things. Beers like VB.

If I lived back in Western Australia it would have to be something like good old Emu Export. Do they still make that stuff now?

Look at that; they’re cutting down trees and drinking beer and not a hippie to be seen. Those were glorious times indeed.

Fuck knows what I would drink if I still lived up in Cairns. XXXX, maybe? When I had my bar in Italy I put Fosters on tap. It was actually pretty good and I drank a fair bit of it. The locals didn’t mind it either. Good honest beer. For men who have a thirst. Maybe after beating up Antifa soyboys.

Someone with more editing knowledge than me needs to overlay this video with a VB-style commercial. Let me see if I can come up with something …

You can get it running, you can get it dodging, you can get it hitting a silly cow …

Matter of fact, I’ve got one now.

A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer, and the best cold beer is Vic.

You’ll know how it feels. You’re throwing a punch, or feeling heads crunch, or trying too hard to swing first; you’ve sure got a thirst. A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer and the best cold beer is Vic.

You can get it smashing, you can get it bashing, you can get it punching a face; I’ve sure got a taste.

I reckon it might be a hit.

9 thoughts on “I’ll have a VB thanks, mate.

    1. Phil B

      Tut tut! if you are going to set wanking to music, you need to look at ye olde classiks from way back when …

      I bet HE would drink Victoria VB. >};o)

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  1. And of course the media immediately describes the “Patriots” as alt-right nazis while barely mentioning that they had a permit to have their rally and that the antifa goons showed up for the express purpose of starting a riot.

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  2. TechueDude

    You can do that in Australia or the Netherlands. The local retail beer is better. Here, the big three – Coors, Bud, and Miller ( and their offshoot siblings) are pretty bland. I’d drink a fosters or Guinness long before them.

    I stick with the local made Beer. Shiner in this case. It’s certain any place you go here will have it on tap.

    And, beer comes in common pint glasses, not those fruity tulip shaped winey glasses.

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  3. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 07.05.18 : The Other McCain

  4. Stephen Ippolito

    Thank you very much for curating those classic beer commercials, Adam.
    The VB commercial took me back to my teens and to a different Australia that’s never coming back – and I regret that. All Australians should.

    The old Australia wasn’t perfect but it was overall a good-hearted, sensible nation.

    You’re about 10 years younger than me so I’m wondering if you know much about the VB commercial’s narrator, the late great Australian character actor, (and epic drinker), John Meillon.
    Talk about a non-boring man!

    As a young callow Sydney solicitor in the early 80’s I recall having him as a client, (or rather the firm I worked at had him as a client. I just did the drudge work on the file).

    He would, very occasionally, remember to give me much-needed and long-overdue instructions or providekey documents – only after a lot of prompting. On such days he would make the supreme effort and rouse himself from his permanent perch in a snug corner of the bar of the Oaks at Neutral Bay, hail a cab and cross the bridge, jump out in Phillip street, keeping the cab waiting, and stagger into my building.
    I can still, across all these years, hear him in reception saying in his always cheerful strine: “G’day love, give these to Steveo, would ya. He knows what they are. I’ll be back in my office”. And he’d be gone, back to his beloved pub before I could get to reception to delay him.

    Even as late as the 80’s such laxness and big-drinking were still not uncommon for Australian men and few looked down on them for it.

    John Meillon played Aussie battlers on stage and tv all his life and the thing was that in those days the battler was seen as someone to be respected for their struggles and their faults excused for the human touches they were. No matter what, Battlers were always depicted as having dignity and a back-story of illness or tragedy or bad luck- and never as people to be shunned as lesser beings. How different Oz is today when our culture looks down on the unemployed and working poor as “losers” just because they don’t make a lot of money.
    Anyway, hearing John’s voice again was great. Thanks for that.

    I think that your being away from Oz sharpens your perception about us. It’s the same principle as when one studies a painting in a gallery. One must stand back a distance to really take it in. Being too physically close to a subject can limit one’s vision, I think.
    Keep up the good insights on dear old Oz.

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    1. Hi Stephen, Thank you for the wonderful comment and you are right on the money. Australia has lost a great deal in the past few decades, but most of all it has lost its dignity for its fellow man.

      The sort of scene that you describe I remember well. But it has passed and now the only thing that matters to people is how much their house has appreciated over the past year.

      Like

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