I see cats in your future, many cats.

Apparently when you girls are in your sexual market prime, this is your attitude to family, love, commitment and happiness:

Traveled the world and met interesting people = had sex with lots of guys.

Hooked up with some cute guys = they might have been cute but she couldn’t remember after 17 vodka jello shots.

Learned new stuff = she would boast on social media about how good she was at giving head.

Nobody thought she was a slut = everyone knew she was a slut.

Always put herself first = she was a selfish bitch.

Went to rock concerts = went to rock concerts just like everyone else, although she really tried hard to sleep with the band but she didn’t even make it to the front of the stage, let alone past security.

No one ever told her to go make a sandwich = she worked as a “barista”.

Kept her apartment and all of her shoes = she spent her entire life living from paycheck to paycheck and whenever an emergency came up she would whore herself out on GoFundMe, an act that became increasingly more desperate and unsuccessful as her SMV approached the wall.

Never got cheated on, period = she cheated on people all of the time but went batshit crazy if a guy she was with so much as looked at another girl.

Her family and friends thought she was fucking cool as hell = everyone dreaded family gatherings and events, and they would even pool money to give to her to go on another world trip just so long as she did it during major holidays.

Made tons of money = hooker, which was ultimately pointless seeing as she made tons of money but she also spent it all at the same time.

The toilet seat was always down = she taught her cats how to use the toilet so she didn’t need to clean a litter box.

***

And after all of this? When you hit the dreaded wall and nobody has to put up with your shit anymore because you lost your youth and looks?

Why, then you’ll complain about not being able to find marriageable men, while simultaneously demanding that you not be held accountable for your past actions.

12 thoughts on “I see cats in your future, many cats.

  1. Epaminondas

    There is nothing wrong with traveling the world…IF you profit thereby. Going to Rome just to be able to take a selfie in a crowded square is not “cool.” It makes you look like an ignorant fool with no more serious ideas in your head than your cat. However, if you come away from Rome with greater insights into WHY your civilization is better than all the others combined, then your trip will have been worth it. And your cat will still love you when you get back.

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  2. I DontTroll

    As I read this my physically fit, debt-free woman without tattoos is in the kitchen fixing me… wait for it… TWO SANDWICHES without my asking. I wasn’t sure if the toilet seat was up or not, but I have never heard a word about it in the decade and a half that she and I have been together. Also, no cute furry domestic beasts anywhere in the remote vicinity. So far so good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Red Pill Wisdom

      Because of their asinine pride, they would much rather chase a pleasant lie than have to admit that they were wrong; because of their arrogance, they refuse to face the ugly truth: that they have created their own Hell by their own poor choices (which they continually deny and instead project onto men, ‘teh Patriarchy’, etc.).
      Like alcoholics and druggies, they will never admit this until they ‘hit bottom’ (if even then).
      I used to feel pity for them for their foolish actions and choices, but their overweening pride and arrogance has killed that pity; instead I feel nothing but indifference and that they richly deserve the fate which awaits them.
      It is no wonder that Pride is one of the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’.

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  3. And, lying on her deathbed, she looked around the room at her cats, her rock t-shirts, her passport, her cool shoes and her toilet seat and begged, pleaded and prayed that one of them would utter the words “I love you”, but none of them did.

    She died alone, but she was fucking cool as hell when she was alive. Too bad it didn’t matter in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sean F

    “Nobody thought she was a slut = everyone knew she was a slut.” – nice one, Adam.

    Good column for the lzolz, but one big item I disagree with that I see a lot: the idea that these women will finally see the error of their ways when they hit the wall. Maybe it’s because I’m ‘of a certain age’ myself, but believe me, there are so many thirsty betas of every age out there, that these broads will find some jackass to indulge them right up to about 70. And life has never been a picnic after that, for anybody.

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  5. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 08.06.18 : The Other McCain

  6. Andy in FL

    Thinking out loud here… I’m guessing these women on average don’t make it to old age. My mom spent her last couple of years in a nursing home, and as I visited her I noticed that ALL of the old women were either widows or their husbands were still coming to visit. Maybe I missed something, but I’m fairly certain there were no former tie-dye, retired, hippy, single ladies in the bunch. I’m guessing that most women who have never been in a long-term marriage die relatively younger than average. This is not an idea based on anything other than a guess. And it doesn’t apply to nice, little ole librarian types. I think maybe women given over to their unchecked, natural, emotion-driven states without the benefit of male guidance and leadership live less than healthy lives.

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