Of course the earth is flat.

I’m back from my time off in Italy. The truth is that I got back late Tuesday afternoon but I haven’t been in any condition to post anything. I got sick the very first evening in Italy, Friday evening to be precise. At a BBQ for one of the rafting guides’ birthdays I felt the scratchiness in my throat and I desperately willed it to not be the thing that I knew with complete certainty that it was, but my pleas were entirely useless.

Saturday morning I was sick, convincingly sick. The plan was to go rafting so I went rafting. First time in 8 years. I pulled it off with nary a hitch, but I was the first to admit to great relief at not having to go do it again a further 4 times in the same day. Once in 8 years is perfectly acceptable to me now.

Sunday I was even worse, but the plan was to go downhill mountain biking with one of my best friends and his twin 9 year old boys, so I went. We caught the ski gondola up to the top of the mountain and then came down through a series of narrow switchback trails through the forest. The three of them had to wait for me quite a bit. I will not lie; it was quite terrifying. But I only came off the bike once and considering that this was the worst day of the cold I felt that I acquitted myself well.

The boys were concerned for my welfare which I found both touching and hilarious, considering that they were throwing themselves down the mountain at speeds which would cause a drag racer to pale. I predict that the two of them will be world champions in 10 years, which will mean that I will be able to say that they took me mountain biking. Sweet.

Monday I filled up the car with wine, a good 60 bottles or so, and then I headed home. I stopped just after Munich as I couldn’t face the 12 hour drive in one hit with the now quite serious head cold. Blowing my nose at altitude was somewhat alarming as my ears cracked and popped like crumpling an empty packet of crisps.

The drive across Germany was as always a battle between not being hit from behind by a car that was doing 250km/hr and not hitting the car in front that was doing 80. Driving from Italy to Holland leaves me now in no doubt that the Millennials are correct in believing that the earth is flat. If the earth was round then why did my car always have all four wheels on the ground? And the earth being flat explains the large number of people that go missing every year; they’ve simply fallen off the edge. Simples.

Anyway, I’m back home and still sick. I haven’t even put the wine in the cellar. I came home early because when I’m sick I just want to be home. In my own bed, with my stuff around me, the cat, the Good Wife, and all of the other things that one needs when wallowing in a state of deserving misery.

I’ll do a podcast later today so you can all enjoy my sexy blues voice.

2 thoughts on “Of course the earth is flat.

  1. TechieDude

    Is there any zicam or equivalent in Italy?

    In the past when I’ve been on the road and get that feeling, I’ve hit the zicam and it either went away or stayed under control, more or less.

    Clearly too late for that now. Hope you get better.

    Like

  2. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 08.23.18 : The Other McCain

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