Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

The traits of the modern marriageable woman

An email from a female reader, (I didn’t know there were any. Mental note to self; must be more misogynistic.)

I would be interested in hearing a parallel list of traits of the modern woman, or an ideal woman, or your idea of a good woman. Obviously youth and beauty are high on the list, but as you’ve said many times those are traits by definition that drastically reduce in value over time. You seem to be a person who values hard work and continuing to become the best person you can be – so where does that leave women in your equation? Simply worthless after they’ve hit “the wall”? Why would any man ever get married if his wife is only going to be valuable until she hits age 30 and his value is just going to increase?  I definitely take the point that a woman would be wise to consider her youth and beauty as important and strategic assets in building her family and the life that she wants – it just seems that there are still many traits that a woman should continue her whole life long to develop and establish.  You’ve got quite a hopeful message for men – put in the work and you can change your life – but it seems that you think that all women should do is be young and hot. Maybe also quiet.

Sounds good to me! But seriously …

Okay, okay, seriously this time, I really mean it.

Here are the traits that I consider valuable in a woman. Possession of these traits is a strong indicator that a woman is an adult. If I were to cast around the field again, the absence of these traits could possibly be red flags for me. So in no particular order I present to you all, the traits of the modern marriageable woman.

  1. Young and beautiful. Young means under 28, although this can be a little fluid depending on the individual concerned.
  2. Debt free which means no college education. I think one of the biggest red flags as of the current year is a fancy education. There are three reasons for that: she will have lots of debt; she will have been indoctrinated by socialists, Marxists, leftists, homosexuals, and feminists; she will value career over family.
  3. Family over career. This obviously ties in with the previous trait. She wants to get married because she knows that a family is for raising children. And leading on from this one …
  4. She has to have a healthy relationship with her family, and in particular her father. Family has to be important to her.
  5. Virgin or at most one other sexual partner. It is a statistical fact that the more sexual partners a woman has before marriage then the more likely she will be to blow up the divorce bomb.
  6. A minimalist social media presence. Social media is brilliant because it allows you to correctly identify a narcissist. Related to this, she has no interest whatsoever in “finding herself”. Also, the photos that she takes of her family are only displayed on the mantelpiece.
  7. She is wary of the sisterhood.
  8. She is not frivolous with money.
  9. She keeps herself in shape, preferably with weight training. Tied to this is the knowledge that she also has to keep in shape to keep her man interested. She expects the same from him.
  10. The sex is healthy, fun, and frequent but not mind blowing. If you marry a porn star in bed then you’ll get a porn star out of bed too.
  11. She is not obsessed with either her fingernails nor her eyebrows.
  12. She hates tattoos.
  13. She can cook and look after a house, and she has a healthy appetite and enjoys her food.
  14. She does not expect to be with you all the time. She instinctively understands that men and women need their space. She is happy when you are out with the boys, and she knows that she is not one of the boys.
  15. She would never cut her hair short.
  16. She does not fall for popular fads.
  17. She likes romance but she understands that a marriage is a team effort.
  18. She is healthy, in other words no medical conditions or problems. She has an inherent distrust of doctors and medicine.
  19. Her craziness factor is as low as reasonably practical.
  20. She is not a fair weather sailor. She is loyal.
  21. She has good taste.
  22. She is religious, not spiritual. But she understands that the modern iteration of the Church is almost hopelessly compromised. She would never dream of reading a horoscope.
  23. If she could she would vote hard right but she believes that women should not have the right to vote.
  24. She is content with what she has and is grateful for it.
  25. She would never undermine her husband in front of their children and she takes the same line that he does even if she is temporarily not sure if he is correct.
  26. She works hard to civilize her children.
  27. She does not try to be friends with her children.
  28. She always puts her husband before her children. In other words, the children have to fit in with their parents’ lives, not vice versa.

Maybe I should title this post, looking for a unicorn. Of course, you’re not going to find a woman like this. Nobody is perfect and everyone has their faults. If you want perfection and a guaranteed outcome then enroll yourself in a Disney movie. But the point is to keep these traits uppermost in mind when considering a woman for marriage material. And if you are a woman reading this then now you know what men are after.

(And this post has nothing whatsoever to do with how to make a marriage work so please don’t equate the two.)

Soy boys and other examples of emasculated and feminized men will decry the very idea that women should improve themselves in order to maximize their chances of attracting a good man, let alone that they should need to possess any of these traits. Which will just prove the point even more, as if it needs proving.

But us men have no interest in proving that these points are demonstrably true because if you don’t agree with them then you’ve placed yourself out of contention, and on top of that, we don’t care what you think.



Sunday lifting thread – diet and fasting.


A follow up on the things we like in chicks.


  1. Dave

    In regards to being post wall, I believe that if you’re married to a woman who shared her most nubile years of youth exclusively with you, you’ll have a favorable view of her – aka rose coloured glasses into the future as opposed to an older woman who never gave you her best, but instead to someone else.

    Women seem to ignore the fact that men are very visual creatures by nature…

    • TechieDude

      That about says it all. My wife has kept herself up, and even though she’s older, I see her as the girl I married 30 years ago.

      That is truly something the women these days rarely think about. I went to a wedding recently, the bride was 30. And although she hasn’t hit the wall yet, she most certainly sideswiped it on the way to the final wall smash approach.

      Sad. I’ve known her all her life. She was stunning just five years ago.

      OmegaMan’s line “A wife, who preferably marries her husband while young and stands by him through good times and bad will be loved and cherished by him to the end of his days.” Stands out as well. She needs to earn that loyalty.

    • Luke

      Yup Dave I think this is exactly right, a decent man will continue to love and stay with a woman who is older if they got together in her best years, this is just natural for most men. If on the other hand she was riding the cock-carousel in her twenties and only showed interest when nearing the wall or post-wall that level of loyalty may not be there from the man.

      I would only add that short hair IS a problem as far as I’m concerned, if a woman cuts her hair short because “it’s my body and I’ll do what I want” that’s fine – but I’ll also do what I want with my body and it will no longer be around her….

  2. Tom

    I can’t believe how close my views are with yours.

    I would only take issue with number 15, as short-ish hair on a women can be attractive and easy to manage (not butch short obviously).

    • There’s not a white woman in the world who looks better with hair above her shoulders vs below her shoulders.

    • Quartermaster

      I have a friend who is an attorney. She didn’t get married in Law school, or shortly thereafter, and is now 53 an unmarried. She didn’t ride the carousel, and was selective as to who she dated. Still a pretty woman, but she has short hair. She has it because it’s easy to manage and she doesn’t have to spend the time fussing with it like a longer haired woman does. I think she would look better with longer hair, but I can understand why she keeps a short do. The way she wears it is not at all mannish either.

      Were I free (married almost 44 years), I’d take up with her.

      The soiboy problem has existed for a long time. We simply called them something different. She hates the type, as any other decent woman would.

  3. Sue Smith

    Excellent….I’m a woman and I agree wholeheartedly!!!

  4. JohnR

    Yup. Pretty much on the mark Adam. Come and join us JWs, and you’ll find many nice young women just like that. It’s one of the blessings of true religion.

  5. This is an excellent list, Adam.
    I have a similar list here.

  6. I would like to add a woman who supports her husband through difficult time. When men start their careers, times can often be difficult and the support of your wife can be a godsend. A wife, who preferably marries her husband while young and stands by him through good times and bad will be loved and cherished by him to the end of his days. Such a woman will always be remembered for her youth and beauty even into her old age.

    On the contrary, women should not expect to walk into a man’s life after he has established himself and expect to help themselves to half of his assets and income.

  7. Bigusrigus

    Good list. I would suspect that many of these would be best encouraged when a daughter has grown up predominantly in her fathers frame. i.e she is concerned of the opinion he has of her, and aims to please him. Thus, conservative by nature and sensitive to shame.

    Although, may I suggest an interest in staying healthy, rather than weight training. I had a nice feminine girlfriend once who liked walking, Roomba class and dancing with me on Sunday evenings. Unfortunately, she also worked in nonprofits after a masters in education (women’s studies). I could not reverse the damage of an ideaology that is not rooted in reality (human nature). Feelings are virtually impossible to reason with.

  8. earl

    I’d start with God fearing…then a lot of these traits would flow from it. After all the holier a woman is the more she is a woman.

    Then after that if she shows good helpmate traits…physical attributes, beauty and fitness would be third however it is still important.

  9. Jeff Strand

    Number 19 is the most important, obviously. That’s one that you can’t compromise on.

  10. If men get married they will like to have their own wives, not a woman who has spent their prime years sleeping around. On average modern day woman just don’t care what men want and you can tell that by the way they progress through their lives, so why should men care about what woman want after they lose their beauty?

  11. Post Alley Crackpot

    I was about to ask whether you were going to change the blog’s name to “pushing unicorns downhill” but there it was:

    “Maybe I should title this post, looking for a unicorn.”

    So at least you understand that your list is in fact a parody of most Western women’s 479 point check list for an “ideal man” …

    Nicely done. 🙂

  12. Gonza

    The meme covers the basics to exclude 99% already. Can’t be F’d in the head as well as being virgo intacto

  13. Plenty of women who maintain their looks and beauty. Reality is it takes work for all women, more for some. No different than for men.

    Ran into a woman at the grocery store who I met at a party about seven or eight years ago. In good shape and decent looking then. Now she looks like she has completely given up. She has gained significant weight and was not dressed to be out and about. Wow. I was interested then but she wasn’t. Now I have no interest whatsoever while I still look about the same if not better.

    It’s a matter of mindset and effort.

  14. Dave

    If a woman won’t give you her best years of youth, then why should a man accept decades of her worst?

    Then of course there is the moral value of accepting this past.

    It’s always interesting to consider something like ‘pride and prejudice’ as a comparison of moral virtues. Most females will tell you they love the book and film adaptations. They want to meet a Mr Darcy, but completely overlook the fact that Darcy would be utterly disgusted if Elizabeth had spent her youth ‘finding herself’ – especially in other men’s beds, and he nor society would have associated with that family if this had been the case.

    Of course, the idiocy of her younger sister quite nearly ruined their entire family when she ran off with a Chad.

    In contrast, today she would just be ‘finding herself’, but unfortunately Mr Wickham wasn’t ‘the one’. No doubt however, Mr Wickham would still be in the picture of a modern girl once she went for beta bucks….

    Getting back to that world seems impossible, as we have no religion, nor are father’s stopping this behaviour (in my experience, they are huge into the ‘go girl’ mentality). Then of course you have the message of popular culture, plus instagram etc.

    If we did begin to reclaim all of the above, I do think social media could be used effectively. For example, instagram pictures of wedding dresses targeted at 18 year olds. Pictures of glowing young mothers who are 20. If the pretty and cool girls are doing it, the herd will follow.

    I don’t think it’s a pipe dream, as biologically there are programmed to want this, but everyone from their parents to teachers to society tells them ‘sure, one day, but definitely not yet’, so something big would need to take place. The inevitable global financial collapse perhaps?

  15. Bree

    As a conservative Mormon wife and mother of three sons, I agree with all of these save the voting aspect. Perhaps I am simply a product of my American environment, but I am proud to live in a nation where women contribute with their vote to their community. My work is in the home, raising kids and caring for my husband and family and neighbors. How can I do that if I cannot vote on local policies that influence the elementary schools, civic centers and churches that we frequent?

    I like your blog, and I often read Roosh and Heartiste. I want to say – this list might seem unrealistic, and it probably is, to get every bullet point crossed off would be fairly miraculous. But there ARE women out there who favor traditional marriage; who marry as young virgins without debt and favor home life over university education. I know because I am one. My mother was one.

    Unfortunately many religious flyover country women are chubby and becoming slowly tainted by feminism, but with men becoming more active in improving themselves via the manosphere, I have high hopes that my sons will grow up in a world with plenty of strong male role models. They will know what to do – and what not to do.

    But the debt free religious virgins are diminishing. My faith – the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – and many other traditional conservative religions – are under attack by post modern feminism. They’re not exempt from pushback about the overeducation of women, modesty standards, addiction, pornography and (sadly) white knighting and rescue of carousel retired single moms.

    I think more people need to read blogs like yours, and fast.

    There’s nothing quite like seeing a forty something woman in your congregation cry during a lesson because she has never gotten married, and knows that she can no longer have biological children. I feel relief as well as sadness when that kind of woman tries to talk about how my church is outdated and patriarchal; relief because I dodged that bullet. Sadness because it is unlikely her dreams will come true.

    Keep up the writing. I am so sorry to hear about your wife, but considering the many proactive ways you have reshaped your life, I am confident you will be well. 🙂

  16. Bree

    Also: as far as fear of a man ‘trading up’ as age happens…I agree with the previous comments made about rose colored glasses. I’ve been married for 13 years, am now in my early 30s, and our relationship is stronger than ever. I agree the attraction has to be there in the beginning, but deep, abiding love that lasts happens when trust is built. And that takes years of surviving the ups and downs together. My husband is the best man I have ever known, not because he is a Chad bad boy, but because he is a principled, intelligent and wonderful man. He sets boundaries in our relationship for the benefit of us both, he is the head of the house, our literal provider and protector…and there is nothing wrong with that. Would that there were more men like him.

    And the women who typically fear that their value lies solely in looks and youth after reading this have most likely squandered both. Most men are far more romantic and steadfast than women. Sad but true. A man will be loyal to the end for a good woman.

    A woman who lacks any redeeming value? Probably going to fight to the bitter end denying all of this anyhow.

    • Bree

      Sorry. Had to edit- attraction must be here now as well, but as a marriage progresses it will have less to do with youthful fecundity and more with other aspects. Self care is hugely important.

      Sorry…commenting way too much! Rant over.

      • Adam

        Bree, I don’t normally approve comments on old posts by first time commenters, but I am happy to approve yours. My point for not allowing women the vote still stands though; you can’t think micro on this, you have to think macro. You may well vote in a logical manner designed to preserve our traditional culture. but the majority of women do not. They are your enemy in this regard.

  17. Bree

    logically I see where you are going with this. California ( home state of my parents and sadly more Mexifornia than American ) would probably still be conservative and well off had they not courted the ‘gimmethat’ voters. I almost didn’t recognize the place on my last visit…homeless, trash and literal poop everywhere.

    Get out of Louisiana and see the American West before it is gone!

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