An email from a female reader, (I didn’t know there were any. Mental note to self; must be more misogynistic.)
I would be interested in hearing a parallel list of traits of the modern woman, or an ideal woman, or your idea of a good woman. Obviously youth and beauty are high on the list, but as you’ve said many times those are traits by definition that drastically reduce in value over time. You seem to be a person who values hard work and continuing to become the best person you can be – so where does that leave women in your equation? Simply worthless after they’ve hit “the wall”? Why would any man ever get married if his wife is only going to be valuable until she hits age 30 and his value is just going to increase? I definitely take the point that a woman would be wise to consider her youth and beauty as important and strategic assets in building her family and the life that she wants – it just seems that there are still many traits that a woman should continue her whole life long to develop and establish. You’ve got quite a hopeful message for men – put in the work and you can change your life – but it seems that you think that all women should do is be young and hot. Maybe also quiet.
Sounds good to me! But seriously …
Okay, okay, seriously this time, I really mean it.
Here are the traits that I consider valuable in a woman. Possession of these traits is a strong indicator that a woman is an adult. If I were to cast around the field again, the absence of these traits could possibly be red flags for me. So in no particular order I present to you all, the traits of the modern marriageable woman.
- Young and beautiful. Young means under 28, although this can be a little fluid depending on the individual concerned.
- Debt free which means no college education. I think one of the biggest red flags as of the current year is a fancy education. There are three reasons for that: she will have lots of debt; she will have been indoctrinated by socialists, Marxists, leftists, homosexuals, and feminists; she will value career over family.
- Family over career. This obviously ties in with the previous trait. She wants to get married because she knows that a family is for raising children. And leading on from this one …
- She has to have a healthy relationship with her family, and in particular her father. Family has to be important to her.
- Virgin or at most one other sexual partner. It is a statistical fact that the more sexual partners a woman has before marriage then the more likely she will be to blow up the divorce bomb.
- A minimalist social media presence. Social media is brilliant because it allows you to correctly identify a narcissist. Related to this, she has no interest whatsoever in “finding herself”. Also, the photos that she takes of her family are only displayed on the mantelpiece.
- She is wary of the sisterhood.
- She is not frivolous with money.
- She keeps herself in shape, preferably with weight training. Tied to this is the knowledge that she also has to keep in shape to keep her man interested. She expects the same from him.
- The sex is healthy, fun, and frequent but not mind blowing. If you marry a porn star in bed then you’ll get a porn star out of bed too.
- She is not obsessed with either her fingernails nor her eyebrows.
- She hates tattoos.
- She can cook and look after a house, and she has a healthy appetite and enjoys her food.
- She does not expect to be with you all the time. She instinctively understands that men and women need their space. She is happy when you are out with the boys, and she knows that she is not one of the boys.
- She would never cut her hair short.
- She does not fall for popular fads.
- She likes romance but she understands that a marriage is a team effort.
- She is healthy, in other words no medical conditions or problems. She has an inherent distrust of doctors and medicine.
- Her craziness factor is as low as reasonably practical.
- She is not a fair weather sailor. She is loyal.
- She has good taste.
- She is religious, not spiritual. But she understands that the modern iteration of the Church is almost hopelessly compromised. She would never dream of reading a horoscope.
- If she could she would vote hard right but she believes that women should not have the right to vote.
- She is content with what she has and is grateful for it.
- She would never undermine her husband in front of their children and she takes the same line that he does even if she is temporarily not sure if he is correct.
- She works hard to civilize her children.
- She does not try to be friends with her children.
- She always puts her husband before her children. In other words, the children have to fit in with their parents’ lives, not vice versa.
Maybe I should title this post, looking for a unicorn. Of course, you’re not going to find a woman like this. Nobody is perfect and everyone has their faults. If you want perfection and a guaranteed outcome then enroll yourself in a Disney movie. But the point is to keep these traits uppermost in mind when considering a woman for marriage material. And if you are a woman reading this then now you know what men are after.
(And this post has nothing whatsoever to do with how to make a marriage work so please don’t equate the two.)
Soy boys and other examples of emasculated and feminized men will decry the very idea that women should improve themselves in order to maximize their chances of attracting a good man, let alone that they should need to possess any of these traits. Which will just prove the point even more, as if it needs proving.
But us men have no interest in proving that these points are demonstrably true because if you don’t agree with them then you’ve placed yourself out of contention, and on top of that, we don’t care what you think.