Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

Friday hawt chicks & links – The new system edition.

At the gym this evening after my session I had a protein drink because that’s how I roll. But when I went to pay for it there was a problem. The trainer scowled at his machine as he attempted to complete the transaction for a whopping 1.80 euro.

“What’s the matter?” I asked him.

“We have a new system,” came the reply. The despair on his face said it all.

I don’t know if there are any words more terrifying in the modern language than ‘we have a new system’. Nobody likes a new system except the person that sold it and he should be placed against a wall and shot in the knees. The very next person to be dealt with in this way would be the idiot that purchased the new system. The people doing the shooting would be a toss up between the staff who have to use it and the clientele that have to put up with it.

The selling point about a new system is that it’s new. The inference is that the old system was bad because it was old. Probably the best example of the fallacy of this in action was New Coke. New is not better. We’ve had new for 50 years now. My record player was manufactured in 1979. That’s about right as far as I’m concerned. About the only new things that are better are cars and that’s only if you take away the horrible modern colors which amount to 750 shades of grey. My umbrella has more aesthetic interest than my car.

We got the transaction sorted and I gulped my protein drink in milk. I asked the trainer if it was new. He said it was most certainly not. Things are looking up.

Things might be coming to a head. I wonder if the UK government will roll out the EU armored vehicles like a certain spineless French leader did.

The notion of an EU Army is not new — as both French President Emmanuel Macron and German Chancellor Angela Merkel have both floated the idea.

In November, Merkel said “The days where we can unconditionally rely on others are gone,” adding “We should work on a vision to create a real European army one day.”

Tell me again about those wymens being the more peaceful lot when they have their hands on the reins of power.

Speaking of female leaders …

***

She wants to be a writer but it isn’t working because she’s a lazy bitch.

I am financially unstable and constantly compare myself to people who got out of school and pursued careers that now allow them to comfortably have things like nice apartments and furniture they care about and health insurance and yoga-studio memberships. I know these things will not fix it, but I can’t help but want the lives they represent.
I pursued, aggressively and stubbornly, a freelance position I no longer care for that is difficult to transition out of. I did it because it was hard to get in and I wanted to prove that I could. Well, I did. Now, I’m stuck and almost 30 and petrified that I won’t ever be able to recover the years I lost doing stupid things instead of focusing on something that could have brought me closer to where I wish I were now. I KNOW this is petty, I know this is silly, but it feels inescapable …

One wonders if we donated a “yoga-stodio membership” to the vapid bint if this would alleviate her suffering.

***

How’s the latest UN climate junket in Poland going? Not so well it seems.

The second week of the UNFCCC conferences was always the one where the politicians swarm. But this time the only leaders are the ones from tiny pacific atolls who come in hope of increasing their GDP, one grant at a time.

Time to go back to your little tropical locales and return to the abject task of collectively eating yourselves to death.

***

One for the history nerds – What happens when a world order ends.

The deterioration of a world order can set in motion trends that spell catastrophe. World War I broke out some 60 years after the Concert of Europe had for all intents and purposes broken down in Crimea. What we are seeing today resembles the mid-nineteenth century in important ways: the post–World War II, post–Cold War order cannot be restored, but the world is not yet on the edge of a systemic crisis.

It’s a long screed with some logical fallacies but what I find interesting is that he doesn’t mention the fall of the Ottoman Empire. If we are to look at the fate of the USA through historical terms then I consider the fall of the Ottomans to be the most interesting and relevant for our times.

Maybe he didn’t consider it because the ramifications are so unpalatable.

***

***

Porn is bad, okay?

Just because you don’t imbibe it like another drug, though, does not make it safe. Porn is a subtle drug that rewires the brain into preferring imaginary sex with artificially enhanced women over the real thing – and the rewiring tends to happen pretty quickly, too.

The act of masturbating, all the way to completion, releases the same chemicals that real sex does – but without the accompanying emotional satisfaction and post-coital glow that you get from being in the arms of a real live woman. That massive release of endorphins and dopamine, however, are enough to get a man addicted very easily – and the reality is that this drug satisfies one of the most primal needs that a man has.

***

Your life is your own damn fault.

Mostly, when your life is in the shitcan, it’s your own fault. Few people have any worse enemy baying for their blood than themselves.

Look at me. I moan about my life and work in Africa, but how did I end up here? Through a series of bad choices that I freely made. I didn’t study enough maths and other hard stuff. I ended up in a career where working overseas can be easier and somewhat more lucrative. I chose to come to this bizarre country even after doing my research. And here I am.

I wish there were someone else to blame but I can think of no other targets. Sure, I got some poor advice along the way, but who was it that chose to take that advice without due diligence? Muggins.

That exhausted, near-defeated man I see in the mirror every morning is to blame for everything wrong with my life.

***

Apparently no one went to the moon. News to me.

Owen Benjamin makes the case. Feel free to criticize it, if you are a Moonie, but don’t bother with either the fainting or shaming routines. Because if there is one thing that has become eminently clear over the last 20 years, the one and only thing we can be ABSOLUTELY SURE did not happen is the Official Story.

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5 Comments

  1. Allen

    I saw the bit from Owen Benjamin about the magnetic tapes and had to laugh.

    Let me tell you a little story about a man named Ed… About 20 years ago Congress got a touch excited when they learned about how one of the US’ nuclear weapons and it’s delivery system might not have been safe as it should have been. Congress spent 100’s of millions of dollars on looking at the safety of the system. Ed worked for the primary contractor which builds the system.

    Ed set up this amazing data storage system, including back-up magnetic tapes of all the experimental work that went into the study and the results. It was a pain in the ass to use but since it involved nukes what can you say? At one of the meetings I humbly offered that we were wasting our time with this and each organization should keep back ups as they saw fit. I further offered a bet that the database would be gone within 5 years of Ed retiring. Ed retired the year following the study and within 18 months, bam! the database was purged, the computer system junked, and the back-up tapes shredded.

    Now, you might think the genius who ordered the destruction might have got in a bit of trouble. As they say one oh shit! wipes out a 1000 attaboys. You would be wrong, there is a corollary to that, one oh shit! merits 1000 you go grrll! Yes that’s right a woman purged the database and earned kudos for it.

    The fact that NASA was able to keep the tapes as long as they did is the surprising part.

  2. MarkT

    Every time-proven tradition we now take for granted was ‘new’ at some point in history , including Coke. ‘New’ is not a guarantee of it being superior, but contrary to the dispositions of conservatives, it’s not a guarantee of it’s inferiority either. The older we get, the quicker we tend to assume it’s the latter rather than the former,

  3. purge187

    “Porn is a subtle drug that rewires the brain into preferring imaginary sex with artificially enhanced women over the real thing – and the rewiring tends to happen pretty quickly, too.”

    As a Conservative Christian, it feels odd for me to be saying that the “alternatives” may be even better than the real thing, but I am.

  4. Mr Black

    When someone tells me that the moon landing was faked, I know I’m dealing with a moron.

  5. Cheers for the link. Funny, I wrote that eight months ago and now it seems like it was written by someone else. Someone whiny.

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