Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

Clementine Ford goes off the deep end.

In news that surprised exactly nobody with a functioning brain, serial misandrist and attention seeking opinion columnist Clementine Ford resigned from her job at Nine newspapers in Australia with a well orchestrated public hissy fit that guarantees all of her bridges will be left in smouldering ruins behind her.

The reason for her catastrophic meltdown is because her bosses asked her to demonstrate some respect in her columns for the office of the prime minister of Australia. In other words they asked her to not refer to him as “a fucking disgrace.”

In order to continue to fund her lavish lifestyle of lying around in bed all day as well as her strict daily chocolate lamington regimen, Ford has taken to her social media airwaves to hound her few remaining followers for funds.

“Are you a regularly accused of being a misandrist? Do you bathe in a pool of male tears each night before bed?” reads the overview on her page.

“This is an entirely voluntary pledge process. My writing will still be freely available and my Facebook page will remain open so that I can connect directly with people,” Ford said.

“However if you value what I do and want to help support me to keep doing it, your patronage would be greatly appreciated.”

Ford promises all donations will help her continue to produce “feminist content”.

“All of your donations will help me to keep producing feminist content that challenges and explores the world we live in, while also providing me a platform to signal boost the work of other women and non binary voices,’’ she says.

For as little a $1 a month, Ford will give a shout out to her donors on Twitter. For $5, donors will receive a personal email of thanks from her, and for $10 or more, Ford will “curse ten men in your honour”.

Sounds like a bargain and a half! Can’t you just picture Ford now, perched on the edge of her dirty and ill-kept bed, her 10 year old laptop resting on her pale and flabby legs as she desperately scours Patreon with increasingly fading hope for any updates that confirm that someone, anyone, has recently decided to part with the princely sum of a buck a month for the privilege of Ford’s fat fingers typing out a tweet for them?

What’s hilarious abut this is that the future extent of Ford’s tweets will reveal just how many people are prepared to directly pay for her bile. I’m guessing not too many at all, as feminist nutjobs are not known for their capacity to have any spare cash lying around, let alone part with some of it.

And for anyone considering hiring Ford, she has a special message for you too:

Ford said while she expected to be labelled as “difficult” in the wake of her resignation, she urged her followers not to believe any potential rumours surrounding her work ethic.

“I was a loyal and committed contributor for 7 years and they benefited greatly from me being connected to the masthead,” she wrote.

Well considering that the newspapers which were originally a family owned affair went broke while she was there and were bought out by a media conglomerate which was more an act of mercy than a sound business decision, I really fail to see how Clementine’s weekly column of bile known as “male tears” helped her employers to stay the course.

As for myself I have only one message for Clementine Ford courtesy of Ace of Spades:

L
LE
LEA
LEAR
LEARN
LEARN T
LEARN TO
LEARN TO C
LEARN TO CO
LEARN TO COD
LEARN TO CODE
LEARN TO COD
LEARN TO CO
LEARN TO C
LEARN TO
LEARN T
LEARN
LEAR
LEA
LE
L

 

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15 Comments

  1. sfw

    Hi Adam, not bad but you need to update your profile here – https://www.xyz.net.au/author/apiggott/

  2. Nebia Hill

    Yep, ms Ford.

    “Learn to code…”

    I really don’t want to be cruel but a lot of us out here are having a hearty laugh at Clem’s new coding pathway.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9Zmkw2KLN4

  3. Phil

    Never wanted or needed a twatter account till now. What does Ace call it…a schadenboner.

    Learn to code trollop.

  4. earl

    I guess feminist outrage isn’t a wise or long term career.

    I can only hope some weak male doesn’t play captain save a ho.

  5. TechieDude

    I’m thinking we’ll be seeing more of this given the recent layoffs in the press.

    I’ll guess we’ll find out whether they are worth any money at all. Supply and demand are likely to be a factor.

    I’m sure there’ll be an over-supply of these angry yentas, driving down her potential market.

  6. For those wishing a little background, Clementine Ford once called for the deaths of all men then got hired as a spokeswoman for a suicide hotline.

    “Suicide prevention group Lifeline is being lobbied to remove controversial feminist Clementine Ford as the keynote speaker of domestic violence awareness forum.

    “A change.org petition argued her previous tweets saying ‘kill all men’ and ‘all men must die’ made her unsuitable to address the ‘Recognise, Respond, Refer’ event in Melbourne next month.”

    Holy facepalm, Batman!

    https://gunnerq.com/2018/07/20/suicide-help-line-for-men/

  7. purge187

    Clementine Ford Explorer.

  8. XXX

    Was kinda expecting a post about this…. Remember she was just a useful idiot to the global elite, to distract and sow discord. She was given free rein until she went for one of their own. In other words, they fed their attack dog until she turned on them. Then they had to put her down. Reminds me of Femen. How they were unleashed to bring down Putin, until they went after Israel. Then they were cut off at the knees. It is most important to know who your true enemies are

  9. Dave

    The white kids with baseball bats…. now this…. this is the week that keeps on giving!

  10. Post Alley Crackpot

    #include

    static char journalist_best_advice[] =
    { 0x4c, 0x45, 0x41, 0x52, 0x4e, 0x20, 0x54, 0x4f,
    0x20, 0x43, 0x4f, 0x44, 0x45, 0x0d, 0x0a, 0x00 };

    int main()
    {
    fputs(journalist_best_advice, stdout);
    }

  11. Post Alley Crackpot

    And the angry ghost of HTML strikes again:

    #include <stdio.h>

  12. Bootstrapper

    Yesssssss! Karma, but this isn’t a victory for normality, decency and common-sense. CF represents the extreme, and as such, she makes every other feminist appear . . . less extreme. Like Richard Dawkins does for religion, CFs presence in the mainstream media actually does more to damage the cause of feminism so. in away, her resignation is a loss for non/anti-feminists.

  13. The Phantom

    I’d never heard of her so I looked her up. She’s a fairly attractive woman with some extreme anti-male views. She’s almost certainly unemployable and her appeal for online funding (i.e., internet panhandling) will almost certainly fail. I await the inevitable online porn career not because I would enjoy looking at her but for pure schadenfreude. Perhaps, however, she will learn to code.

  14. Adam T

    Fairly attractive? You need your eyes checked, she’s a fat gaptoothed bushpig.

  15. The Phantom

    I stand corrected. The article I saw apparently had a heavily airbrushed thumbnail photo. After doing a google image search . . . YIKES.

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