The pussy or the pistol.

Eric left a long comment yesterday which deserves its own thread as he brings up some important questions for our convoluted times.

In regards to the PUA stuff, I’m interested if your beliefs have changed about relationships and marriage since the recent personal events in your life. (By the way, I bought your first book. It was interesting and engaging).

Leave a review, ya mongrel.

My personal beliefs and opinions are in constant flux as I receive new information, gather experiences both good and bad, and generally mature. The biggest takeaway that I am able to presently offer on my own divorce is that you absolutely must hold steadfast in your frame at all times, no matter how difficult that may be in the short term. In addition to that you must not make your wife the center of your life. She has to be on the outer ring and she must know it, (which will make her happy, content, and secure). Your life is your mission.

I remember, perhaps incorrectly, that you were on the Vox Day sorta side of things – get married and have kids, whatever the risks, single men are losers, etc. Do you still hold that?

There is no one right path for every man. We are all on our own individual journeys and we are all here to learn through our life experiences. Life itself is a risk, and all that it entails both good and bad is necessary for us to progress. I do not think it prescient for a man to hold himself back due to being so risk averse, but I also think that one must learn from his mistakes or all that pain will have been for no reason. Remember, if you don’t learn the lesson the first time then it’s just going to come around again and slap you in the face a little bit harder.

For me, I’ve been convinced since I saw the PUA terms/worldview that, although it might be useful and correct, the idea that you can make a spouse stay in a neo-liberal order is simply false. Holding frame, passing shit tests, being alpha – these may all avoid pushing a women away, but they don’t mean she’ll stay. There’s always someone more alpha, and I’ve noticed some women like to cheat/leave/destroy alphas just because they feel that doing so gives them the worth of the alpha. If they can destroy him, then they own him and are better than him.

Watching the manosphere, and especially PUA leaders themselves – not to mention regular guys like you, I’ve also noticed that my view is, anecdotally, far more observed.

Observing and learning from others is a smart thing to do. As to PUA viewpoints, I have never been a PUA and I find their behavior to be extreme, and anything extreme garners extreme consequences. The kind of women attracted to that sort of behavior are good short term prospects but extremely poor long term prospects for the reasons that you mentioned. As you get older at a certain point getting laid for the sake of getting laid stops being a core aspect of your life. In fact, the sooner that you get this under control then the better off you will be. A few men that I know have expressed surprise that I haven’t gone out bonking every female on offer after my divorce. For myself I couldn’t imagine anything worse at this time and anything more likely to get me deeper into the shit.

The west, and whites, in my opinion, have made some sort of multi-party death pact that we probably can’t escape from. We’ve destroyed ourselves not with one vice, but with a plethora reinforced by mutilated remnants of virtues. The churches have embraced feminism and abandoned judgment and righteousness, not to mention even the faith. The family is kaput, and vulnerable to dissolution and exploitation at every moment, and the idea that the man can be the head of the house is explicitly legislated against. Kids are now blank slates for the chemical and sexual experimentation of insane deviants. Our leaders tell us not to have kids and penalize us for doing so while importing millions of people who want to kill us and destroy our past, but only if our own young adults don’t manage it first.

I find nothing to disagree with here.

One always has to fight, but I personally can’t see putting oneself in the position in the first place any more. I certainly believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong, but even castrating oneself as Origen, not that I recommend it, might still be better than submitting oneself permanently to a woman in a marriage or relationship today, especially when the church is there to back her up and drive you further into error – that’s how bad it is getting: https://www.christianpost.com/news/liberal-lutheran-pastor-to-melt-purity-rings-into-vagina-sculpture-to-take-down-church-teachings-about-sex.html

Much less the “save the west with your dick” I get from some dissident righters.

Once again, from my own experience, if you are submitting to a woman, whether in marriage or not, then you are doing it wrong. It’s either your frame of hers and she wants it to be yours. Holding that frame requires immense personal strength and conviction which is what the female was looking for in the first place when she hooked up with you. But we all can all learn from our mistakes and get stronger. Scars are a testimony to our own battles.

For myself I think that this tendency of modern men to get hung up on females is somewhat demeaning, and I’m no saint here myself. I found this post from Borepatch this morning to be illustrative of what is actually important in the scheme of things.

I always take this day to remember one man. Samuel Whittemore, State Hero of Massachusetts. Born in 1696. Served in a Massachusetts Regiment in King George’s War in the 1740s. On the 19th of April, 1775, he was 80 years old.

Upon hearing of the events of the day, he loaded his muskets and two French pistols he had kept from his prior service and went to intercept the retreating British. He shot one with the musket and another with the first pistol, with decisive result. He wounded a third with the last pistol. Then he drew a sword and attacked.

The rest of the British detachment shot him in the face, bayoneted him several times, and left him for dead. When he was found, he was trying to reload. He survived this, lived another 18 years, dying at the age of 98, a citizen of the United States.

We’re men and there are more important things than pussy. Sometimes we just need a little perspective.

12 thoughts on “The pussy or the pistol.

  1. American Smarty Pants

    Great post. PUA is all about women. Sure, they can dress it up as something it’s not, but; at the end of the day, it is all about campaigning. Like it or not, it is about being a better dancing monkey. PUA also breeds suspicion between men, and a sense of ‘every man for himself,’ which is why no progress on restoring civilization and proper folkways can be made. If manospherians focused as hard on restoration as the did on ‘game,’ things might be different now. Lastly, no one really wants to spend their entire lives maintaining frame and passing tests (nah bruh, if yer alpha, she won’t do it, blah, blah, blah), we just don’t, especially considering that women are a ‘depreciating asset.’ We have accepted this situation, then we try to finagle our position in it and call ourselves “alpha” (a word that I am sick go hearing frankly).

    The society needs to be structured in such a way that “alpha” is more or less the default position of men in general, this has to be a cultural matter. Instead, PUA types opt for some imagined behind the scenes, subtle domination. It is really just a way to find a safe niche in all of this storm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 7817

      eh. Your name fits you.

      If manospherians focused as hard on restoration as the did on ‘game,’ things might be different now.

      The manosphere PUA’s writings saved my marriage and I have another child as result. That’s real world testing and real world, even eternal results.

      That’s of more value to me then all the meaningless, resultless blithering about restoration that tradcon types do.

      Like

      1. Americna Smarty Pants

        Sorry to have offended you good sir. It is great to hear of your marriage being saved by such maneuverings and all, but in the final analysis, it is simply a personal solution to a systemic problem. We can’t unite if we are focusing all our attention on ass and trying to bang each other’s wives/girlfriends. You’ve gotten results, yes (so have I) from the ‘sphere, but it hasn’t produced results for the greater society, that’s all I’m saying. Happy Easter all.

        Like

      2. 7817

        I’m glad you too have had personal benefits from the manosphere. Best wishes in your real efforts at restoration, and happy Easter.

        Like

  2. Post Alley Crackpot

    “… some sort of multi-party death pact that we probably can’t escape from …”

    “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”

    Keep in mind that this programme never involved destroying it first.

    Has it occurred to you to wonder about why it is that the libido of men moves away from carnal desire and on to something more tangible and lasting in later years?

    What is the architecture of Notre Dame but a way in which a society can make a tangible memory of the knowledge of civil engineering of their time?

    What is a library but a way in which the depths of that living memory may be made available to all who seek knowledge of it within a society?

    What is a society but a way in which to maintain that living memory in actual use so groups of people can speak of a future worth living for?

    But in a society that values absurdly defined measures of individuality that avoid mention of greatness, aspiration, obligation, and so forth, what do you get but a lumpenprole mass of people who do no better than put forth issue that may perhaps succeed in having a slightly better level of material comfort.

    Worthless societies produce worthless people who cannot understand the worth of the ruins of the greater societies that they have inherited, and so they destroy what they cannot understand and have no skill at maintaining, preferring that to being made a mockery by their greater and better ancestors.

    We now live in a time that devalues architecture with Mies van der Rohe-Houses and other blandishments as well as libraries that reflect the values of lumpenprole “revolting masses” instead of the values of preservation of knowledge and skill at using it.

    Our cathedrals are now on the Internet, taking the form of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and every “dating app” used by every perfidious whore who peddles her wares in public to the so-called “pick up artists” who pedestalise and encourage this behaviour.

    And then people wonder why everything’s going to shit in the so-called “Western world”: the meek didn’t inherit the earth first, they’re just going to be the custodial caretakers of the multi-layered wreckage of the “Revelations” to come.

    Blessed are the meek: for they know when to keep their heads down in the storm.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Adam,

    The biggest threat to the newly divorced is, in my opinion, loneliness. Had some reasonably acceptable woman walked into my life in the year or so following my divorce it would have been difficult to have resisted. I was desperately lonely, having spent fourteen years sharing my life with someone. Thankfully it didn’t happen to me and ten years on I am single and content. Would be OK with the right woman but it isn’t a big deal to me.

    I have friends who went through the same cycle several times. Divorce, get a girlfriend within a couple weeks, living with the GF within six months, married to the GF within a year, divorced again within a couple years.

    Like

  4. Pingback: Lectionary 24th April 2019 – Dark Brightness

  5. “In addition to that you must not make your wife the center of your life. She has to be on the outer ring and she must know it, (which will make her happy, content, and secure). Your life is your mission.”

    Well stated, and directed of you by Luke 14:26.

    Like

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