Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

Women hate your male feelings.

Some time in the early 80s weak or clueless men started listening to what women were saying about what they wanted in relationships. Even worse they took what was said seriously. And worse again they acted on it. If women said that they wanted men who were great listeners then men became the world champions of listening. Perfectly happy to be the puppet on the string if the sex carrot was dangled at the end of it. Anything to get laid.

Three decades of having no standards has meant that we got the women that we asked for and deserve.

One of women’s criteria, particularly in the last decade, has been the requirement that men have to get in touch with their feelings. Coupled with this has been the rise in the use of the misandrist term of toxic masculinity. Men who are slaves to toxic masculinity are the ones who have made no effort to get in touch with their feelings. From school age young boys are taught by severe female authoritarians that the only thing that matters is feelings and getting in touch with them. Real men have feelings and are not afraid to cry.

This was what women said that they wanted and once again we made the twin mistakes of listening in the first place and then acting on information of rather dubious quality. In other words, for over 30 years men have been listening to the sort of advice that you would see in Cosmo magazine. So how do the chicks like their new feeling orientated men?

As it turns out, not very much at all.

The idea of an “emotional gold digger” was first touched on in 2016 by writer Erin Rodgers with a tweet that continues to be re-posted on social media—both by women who married self-described feminist men, and by those with more conservative husbands. It has gained more traction recently as women, feeling increasingly burdened by unpaid emotional labor, have wised up to the toll of toxic masculinity, which keeps men isolated and incapable of leaning on each other. Across the spectrum, women seem to be complaining about the same thing: While they read countless self-help books, listen to podcasts, seek out career advisors, turn to female friends for advice and support, or spend a small fortune on therapists to deal with old wounds and current problems, the men in their lives simply rely on them.

Burdened by unpaid emotional labor. There we go, lads. Not only do they hate that you took their stupid advice, they resent you so much that they want to be paid to listen to your stupid feelings.

The writer of the piece disparages men for not having relationships with other men instead of having to rely on women. But the thing is we did have deep and meaningful relationships with other men, but women hated that and did their very best to destroy it. Men meeting to exclusively hang out and talk with other men has been made illegal in most parts of the Western world under the guise of excluding women.

Women demanded entry into male only spaces in the blinkered belief that they were setting new standards for equality when all they were actually doing was breaking down and dismembering a sophisticated and unofficial male support network. Couple that with the constant demands that men get in touch with their feelings with the women in their life and blokes dutifully did what was asked of them.

“Men don’t usually put the effort into maintaining friendships once they’re married,” Johnson says. “The guys at work are the only people other than me that my husband even talks to, so when some of these men retire, they expect their wives to be their source of entertainment and even get jealous that they have a life.”

All men have experienced the loss of a good friend when he shacked up with a woman who immediately set out to cut him off from all of his previous networks, remodeling him in her image. The mental gymnastics that is going on in this article in order to justify women’s severe frustration with what they supposedly wanted all along is nothing short of astonishing. But the level to which they hold in contempt the men who followed orders and got with the program should give younger men serious pause for consideration.

Johnson jokes that women her mom’s age seem to be waiting for their husbands to die so they can finally start their life. “I’ll get a call saying so-and-so kicked the bucket and sure enough, his widow is on a cruise around the world a week later with her girlfriends.”

Uncontrolled female hypergamey seemingly has no limits to its inherent wickedness. You listen to women at your literal peril. As a man, not only must you build and create a life for yourself, you must also work hard to cultivate committed male friendships. The challenge with that is the fact that you risk losing those valuable friendships to women seeking to recreate their new beau in their own image.

The truly ironic thing is that it is often women who are guilty of manipulating men by using them as surrogate feeling dumping grounds of their own. A woman who is friends with a man in a beta orbiter style relationship will happily keep him around as an emotional crying bag so as to validate her poor choices with the cads who treat her badly. She will flirt with him just enough to make him feel that he is on the brink of achieving intimacy with her when all the while she has no intention of ever allowing him to sully her precious body with his unworthy beta seed. And when she finally does find a man to settle with then the beta orbiter will immediately discover just how worthless their emotional friendship actually was.

What we are seeing as regards to women’s impulses is nothing new. What is new is that women have free reign to indulge in their impulses. The article that I linked to is yet another example in an endless stream of female self-justification and goalpost moving. Whatever women are demanding that their men do today is what they will be complaining about in the near future. The lesson is to not listen to them in the first place. And as for acting on what they say, that is downright lunacy and a sure path to misery, both for men and women.

They hate us so much because we weren’t strong enough to stand up to them. And they’re still demanding that we find our collective balls and finally put them in their place. What do you think a term such as toxic masculinity is really about anyway? It’s just one more step on a decades long shit test that most of us have been failing.


Podcast #106 – The 2019 election episode.


Lifting to get girls is not blue pill.


  1. “Three decades of having no standards has meant that we got the women that we asked for and deserve”.

    No more comment needed. Thank you for your post.

  2. TechieDude

    I’ve seen this quite a bit, where a dude’s girlfriend/wife runs off all his friends. Although, in a healthy arrangement, the woman merely joins the dude’s circle of trust (so to speak).

    I can never remember ever discussing my feelings with my wife of 30 years, unless compelled to do so in church “marriage encounters”. Usually, it’s her doing the discussing. If I had to have a discussion with another man, it would be one of my brothers long before any of my friends.

    I’ll give you a typical interchange; Last night we’re eating dinner, after her weekend at the sister’s, catching up on the drama and current crisis.

    I summed it all up by saying, “See? Look how good you have it!. We have three smart, morally centered, adult kids, and I’m not chucking you outta the house like whatsisname”

    I’m sure I’ll hear some repercussion from that once she chews on it for a day. I think I’ll put it to bed by reminding her that she should be grateful for what she has. Happy mother’s day.

  3. Katie

    Unpaid emotional labor is the funniest term. Is there paid emotional labor? Is that what a therapist is? Next big idea: tinder for friendships – hang out and enjoy a one night stand of chatting about your mean boss over dinner with someone for a one time fee. Heaven forbid (seriously) these women from having kids – those suckers don’t pay for ANYthing! Are there places that are offering a completely a la carte experience? Emotional workers who also do sex work who also do personal assistant work who also do some cooking and cleaning? Someone would never do those valuable services for lame payments like love and loyalty! I know this whole thing is sad, but it’s also hilarious.

    Side note: would you prefer the comments on this blog to be boys only, no girls allowed? A simulacrum of hanging out with the guys? No problem either way. Women have had all their spaces protected by the fact that men are not interested in joining – the most powerful keep out sign of all is when no one wants to get in! But it is definitely a loss in society that men don’t have spaces to themselves in the same way as they once did. Maybe it has to do with women in general forming relationships that are just about the relationship, while men want to do a thing or go to a place, and then relationships are formed secondarily, while they are being at the place or doing the thing. And then women wanted to go to all the places and do all the things too.

    • Adam


      I’ve never stopped women from commenting on the blog. Most of them do so for a bit and then get bored and go away.

      • Katie

        Fair enough. Just read the article you quoted, and to be fair she does provide some hope for men – emotional support men’s groups. They sound exactly like fight club except with your feelings instead of fists (spread by word of mouth, what happens in men’s group stays in men’s group). After all, as I also learned from the article, men only play sports because they are so desperate for some form of human contact. But don’t worry women: men’s group is only allowed to happen after the men have fed the kids and put them to bed or gotten a babysitter. And if they want snacks they can dang well make those brownies themselves! Don’t want to let the leash out too far!

  4. PB

    I still recall going to the gym when I was younger, and finding all the aerobic/warm-up stuff commandeered by the wimmins with their fat-arse yoga pants and shit-eating, vegan grins, and wondering why this was so when they had their womyn-only gym up the road a bit (that I couldn’t use) but they had to come to this one, not that one.

    Those weren’t the days.

  5. Allen

    I had a feeling once, it might have been heartburn though. I have yet to meet a woman that is truly interested in her man’s feelings. They care when it centers on them but other than that, pfft. There’s nothing wrong with that either. The problem comes about when they ask for and get something they don’t want.

    My wife asked me once what I felt about something, so I told her. She hasn’t done it again.

    • Yup. When my wife asks me a question she isn’t really looking for an answer, she’s looking for me to validate what she’s already decided. If I decline to do that, she gets upset with me because I’m “always so negative”.
      My response: “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question.”

  6. Rachael

    Emotional labour is not listening to your feelings. It is the unseen work that goes into producing a result. In the linked articles case, the woman wanted a cleaning service for the day. The ‘emotional labour’ she wanted her husband to complete was the research into, and the selection of, said service – which he failed to do.

    • Adam

      I see. What a bastard. He didn’t do his chores and she blamed it on him wanting her to listen to his feelings. I mean, she should have thrown him down a well. A well. A deep one. That would have taught him.

      • Rachael

        Not at all. Just a classic case of miscommunication between the sexes. The man assumes she only wants the ‘result, whilst the woman does want the result, but what she really wants is to not have to worry about how it gets done – for once.

        Emotional labour is probably not the most descriptive phrase for what it represents, I guess it’s just catchy.

        The man in the article is not a bastard and she very clearly did not want him to ‘do his chores’. She wanted him to organise for something to be done, without her having to get involved, that’s all.

        • Adam

          So what are you saying? You want me to take out the trash or not? I can’t work it out.

    • Dave

      ‘Emotions & Feelings’ are inhibitors not contributors towards getting a task done.

      I think you’re confusing them with attributes like dedication, determination, and persistence…. it’s about the end result as far as men are concerned….. while women tend to be more about ‘the journey’ even if it leads nowhere and nothing actually gets done.

      • Rachael

        I am not confused. You are missing the point.

        The term emotional labour, in the context that it is frequently quoted of late, as well as in the context of the linked example, has nothing to do with listening to your feelings.

        Emotions, feelings, dedication, determination, persistence and journey – sure, whatever -just book the damn cleaning service.

  7. Rachael

    Absolutely, taking out the trash is clear cut male job – haha.

    What I’m saying is emotional labour is more accurately described as unseen labour – not actually related to feelings at all. (Except I guess that woman end up feeling frustrated for unrecognised work?) I think it’s just a poorly coined, but trendy phrase.

    • Jack Nickle

      I told my wife I will happily take up the “burden” of emotional labour and in return for my sacrifice she can do all the actual work. I’m happy to decide how things should be done.

      • Rachael

        It depends on your wife and circumstances how that would go – just please don’t call it emotional labour.

        Decisiveness can definitely be appreciated and attractive. It’s about balance.

    • Dave


      >”feeling frustrated for unrecognised work”

      You’re referring to a woman’s need to boost their social status – they do something in an attempt to boost their social standing rather than because it simply needs to be done and when men fail to acknowledge and elevate accordingly they get pissed with them.

      It would be the equivalent of me posting congratulatory selfies every time I repaired my car or took out the garbage. 99% of tasks are simply a part of life – there is no trophy upon their completion, men have known this for a millennia.

      • Rachael

        No, that phrase was just a guess as to how routine/admin/research/behind the scenes work got labelled as emotional.

  8. Dave

    >”They hate us so much because we weren’t strong enough to stand up to them. And they’re still demanding that we find our collective balls and finally put them in their place.”

    Adam, the only issue with this is that of white knights – these beta losers are always a pain when you need to set a woman straight, even idiot (beta) police now act like white knights.

    • Adam

      It’s the culture. Weak men are empowered by it, and those who are normally without power go absolutely nuts when they get some of it.

    • Katie

      There are two separate articles linked – in one “emotional labor” is equated to therapy, in the other it seems to be “taking responsibility for household logistics.” The guy who said he would take over the emotional labor of his household if his wife would do all the actual work would have to be giving her a detailed list every day of exactly what needs to be done and when and what the priorities are, and if something slipped through the cracks by not being listed it would be his problem. Emotional labor is a weird term for that.

      • Jack Nickle

        Yeah it is a weird term.

        The alternative to emotional labour in this sense is to be micromanaged and give away household decision making power to your husband – which women, and especially feminists, would complain about as well.

        You have to understand that sometimes women just want to complain. And that’s fine – just don’t rush around trying to “fix” anything.

      • Katie

        Jack, exactly.

  9. I’ve ‘listened’ to my ‘feelings’ (my ‘gut feelings’, that is)…which is mostly why I’ve never married nor fathered children. Marriage ALWAYS seemed like a bad deal to me, even before puberty.
    By no means was it easy, and it seemed the hardest things to get over are the Blue Pill lies that you were programmed with as a kid. But you’re “over the worst” of it once you’ve passed your early thirties.
    “It’s better to be single than to wish that you were.”

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