A comment from reader Debo on yesterday’s post:
I must say, as a life-long lifter, I can honestly say it has not helped me get girls at all. I know I’m probably one of the only ones in this regard, but I think it is odd. Either way, I still workout, and will forever.
I can empathise with this. There are plenty of tactics that men who are not naturally gifted with women use in order to improve their chances in the dating game. And while these tactics might work on occasion, if you attempt to use them when the cool guy who gets all the chicks walks into the room then you’ll discover that they’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Which then leads to the conclusion that they don’t work as intended because they are not meant to be used in isolation but in competition.
Take lifting as an example. Sure you can beefcake up as much as you are physically able, but it won’t mean diddly squat if you can’t back it up with game. Women don’t want muscle bound freaks; they want muscle bound freaks with game. The best example I ever saw of this was when the Manpower Australia male stripping routine came rafting on the Tully River one day. These guys were used to women fawning over them both on and off the stage at an unbelievable level. So they all turned up on a big trip when we had a full roster of 24 boats on the river which was roughly 160 customers for the day. Ludicrously, they all wore Speedos on the river in an attempt to be even more blatant at playing the peacock. To call it overkill doesn’t do it justice.
There were a fair number of attractive female backpackers on the trip that day, the kind of girls who were out for what we used to call a good time. At the halfway point we stopped to have a barbecue lunch on the side of the river. The strippers spent the entire lunch break strutting around in full peacock pose. Us rafting guides just sat in our little corner, shooting the shit and taking a break. We were all dressed in surfing board shorts, our rafting kit left on our individual rafts. Untidy hair was the order of the day, although a few guides went for the buzz cut look. We were a motley bunch who wouldn’t have looked out of place on a pirate ship. But what we oozed from our pores was supreme competence and a true sense of a tight male team.
Women love that shit. They are drawn to it like flies to honey. And pretty soon all of the attractive backpacker girls were sitting with us. This was what happened every trip but the fascinating part of this day was the looks of total bewilderment on the faces of the professional male strippers. Here they were, parading around their perfect male bodies, and the chicks were ignoring them. Not only were they ignoring them but they were ignoring them for a ragtag bunch of scruffy looking individuals who between them didn’t look as if they could raise the funds to buy a carton of beer.
But we had the power that day. On a stripping stage in their environment we wouldn’t have stood a chance against those guys. We would have been invisible. But not that day. When it comes to seduction, context matters. And women always want the guys who are in control.
You can take any other tactic that you develop to get girls and apply it here as well with the same result. Having a sense of humor to get girls. Yeah sure, you can make then laugh, but if you can’t follow it up with power then you are not getting laid that night. Comedians will get laid in the context of their own power environment when they are on stage and in command of a room. The sense of humor got them to the point where they could take advantage of the power that it gave them. But if you’re at a party and making the girls laugh all night, if that’s all you’ve got then all you’re doing is setting up the guys with game who are patiently waiting for you to run out of steam.
How about playing the guitar? Playing the guitar does not get you laid. It might work on the odd occasion, but mostly you’ll be the one singing the songs around the campfire while the girls are cuddling up with the blokes that they’re going to get intimate with later on. Or they’re getting intimate with them while you’re strumming away like a retarded monkey. If you get on stage with your guitar in the context of a concert and you and your band blow away the room then oh my God are you getting lucky that night. But it wasn’t the guitar playing that got you laid; once again, it was the power that you wielded.
Power, competence, confidence, they’re all bound up together in game, and game is never in isolation; it is in the context of the dynamic that you wield in competition with other men. Whoever dominates the group or whoever is in the dominating group gets the girls. Because girls are looking for the best guy that they can get and they rank the men against each other. Against that sort of dynamic your slightly bigger biceps become almost meaningless.