Adam Piggott

Gentleman adventurer

Deriving your value from a girl.

My weakness has always been girls. No other vice that exists has ever had power over me. But women have been my enduring weakness. It’s important to know your weaknesses so that you can guard against them. Know yourself and all that. So women are mine. I suppose it has to do with my appreciation of beautiful things. That and probably some leftover shit from my crappy childhood and a feminist mother. But hey, I’m not complaining nor seeking attention. I’m just stating a fact.
Cappy had a nice video out this week. It’s called ‘Don’t be her insurance policy’ and it is pertinent.


The line that I most liked was the following:

Deriving all your value from a girl.

I used to do this. Then I made a man of myself. Became an international rafting guide and slept with loads of chicks while having adventures around the world. Cool huh?
It didn’t matter and nothing changed. I still fell into old patterns and I continued to derive value from girls. If girls wanted me and slept with me then I was good. If they did not sleep with me then I was inadequate. This was the pattern. It was deeply ingrained. It’s a hell of a roller coaster because your happiness and self worth is dependent on outside influences over which you have no control. You can be a famous rock star and it doesn’t count for shit in the face of such behavior patterns. Plenty of huge bands have broken up this way.
My divorce broke this pattern because I had got to a point where I had no other option but to learn the required lesson. Remember, we are on this earth to learn lessons and you will learn them one way or another even if you have to be dragged there kicking and screaming. You know the way that you look at that friend who always makes the same fuck up that you never make and you can’t understand for the life of you why he can’t just get his shit together in that area of his life?
Yeah, that’s his lesson. And he looks at you exactly the same way as you exhibit the same behavior with whatever lesson you’re avoiding and which for him is a non-entity.
It’s been eight months since my divorce and I haven’t even come close to sleeping with a woman. I have purposely avoided every situation where such an outcome might eventuate. The refreshing thing is that this has not been difficult. It seems to me that I am coming close to resolving this negative behavior pattern, this tendency to derive value from a girl.
I derived value from my wife in many ways. This is perfectly fine unless you are dependent on it for your own self worth. For me it was a mix and perhaps this contributed to the demise of the relationship. All I know is that every time that I think that I’m there and that I get comfortable, the rug gets pulled from under me.
Boys, we’re not supposed to get comfortable. You can never truly relax your guard. That is what it means to be a man. We are always on the precipice, the difference is in the knowing. Accept this and move forward. You won’t be happier but we’re not here to be happy. Happiness is for the deluded and the mad. We’re here to grind it out one day at a time. I’m just giving you the truth, just the facts, ma’am. And when you think about it, when you really think about it and ponder the alternatives, why would you want it any other way? That’s the real beauty that underpins everything.

Previous

The butt backwards US economy.

Next

I gotta love me some petroleum.

9 Comments

  1. Slab

    Deriving vone’s value from women is, in many ways, unavoidable in the modern world. But PUAs/gamers are doing so, wether they want to admit it or not. To pretend you don’t derive your self-worth from women, while spending all of your time PUAing and especially when your business is about women; it is ridiculous (NOT that Adam is doing this, but oh so many of us are). To some extent it’s natural, but no matter what any manospherians say; most of us are deriving our sense of worth using women as the measuring stick. Just watch any two “red pilled” men have the slightest, hair-splitting disagreement and they’ll immediately start accusing each other of not getting laid, lol, because being chosen by women means that much. The truth is rough.

  2. Thanks for the honest self-assessment. Reading this will help other men do the same.

  3. didact117

    My divorce broke this pattern because I had got to a point where I had no other option but to learn the required lesson
    Indeed, my friend. You are being tested, hard, to see whether you are ready for tasks ahead that will be more difficult than anything you have gone through so far in your life.
    You are a Christian, and as a fellow brother in Christ you will understand better than a non-believer that these tests are painful and brutal when they happen, but that we always have a choice as to how we respond to them.
    When news of your divorce broke, I said to you that you would come out of it stronger than before, because you have shown in the past that your response to adversity is to fight back and keep moving forward. The subsequent 8 months have shown that I was right, and that you will come out of all of this better than ever. It just doesn’t feel like that right now, because of everything that is happening to you.
    Boys, we’re not supposed to get comfortable. You can never truly relax your guard. That is what it means to be a man. We are always on the precipice, the difference is in the knowing. Accept this and move forward. You won’t be happier but we’re not here to be happy. Happiness is for the deluded and the mad. We’re here to grind it out one day at a time.
    Amen, Reverend.

  4. purge187

    God – the real one, not Allah – made me a lifelong celibate; suffice to say, I’ve been spared a lot of trouble.

    • Chris V

      Sorry to hear about your divorce.
      Theres some statistics on the net that says the more partners a girl has the less likelyhood that she will stick it through marriage. The ideal is zero partners.
      So the question is were you her first?

  5. “Plenty of huge bands have broken up this way.”
    Yoko (cough) Ono

  6. Once you understand that women were created for men you will not make them the centre of your existence. They are there for pleasure and company and children.

  7. Post Alley Crackpot

    “It’s important to know your weaknesses so that you can guard against them.”
    Large calibre rifle ammunition is too expensive for me to give into my weaknesses for long.
    Seriously, have you seen how much a box of .338 Lapua Magnum costs?
    May as well be shooting a bloody .50 BMG. 🙂
    Also: “Do you want to be a big girl and shoot the Sako?”
    Helps find the right kind of girl, good for those of us who have crappy inner ear problems and can’t balance on a motorcycle even to save our own skins.
    Does the Fort Mac crowd still give their young women hunting rifles as graduation presents?
    Maybe an exploratory tour of Alberta would be a good experience, especially given your particular field of work.

  8. Chris V

    Sorry to hear about your divorce.
    Theres some statistics on the net that says the more partners a girl has the less likelyhood that she will stick it through marriage. The ideal is zero partners.
    So the question is were you her first?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén