“We need frugality, darling. That’s a real word, trust me; gorgeous, isn’t it. I want to base the living space on flow, like the flowing essence of what it means to be alive and in the now, in the here and now, right now at this moment. Do you get what I mean? It has to be futuristic but also modern. Are those two different things? You need to combine them, darling girl. I want geometric patterns that if I turn suddenly and catch it with my eye then it reveals an entirely different palette of emotional trust.”

To make her point, Roxy spins suddenly and then jerks her head around to catch a glimpse of something unseen, demonstrating in the moment that presumably she had watched the Austin Powers films more than a couple of times.

She stated that she wanted a house in Vaucluse because it was kid friendly, which was polite speak for no immigrants, or at least no immigrants from the kinds of countries with sweatshops, or at least if there were immigrants from those sweaty sweatshop countries then they would be the proper kind of new arrivals, the kind who drove the right cars and who kept correctly applying for the correct clubs even though they knew that they would never get in, but one must go through the motions if one is to be seen to be trying to be accepted by polite society. The great thing about Vaucluse was that it was right at the tip of the eastern suburbs; after that it was only a great big cliff that fell away into the Pacific Ocean so the undesirable elements never found themselves in this postcode due to its geographical realities.

Oh darling, there were so many darlings to pronounce in one day. It really was a bit dreary though that it was so hard to get out of the city in the Aston due to the terrible traffic. Someone really must do something, after all. And yesterday there was a great pall over the suburb due to the terrible fires that climate change is causing. We really are living in momentous times. Thankfully Roxy had done her bit for the environment as the hired help did the shopping with reusable shopping bags made out of some sort of hemp product. Yes, it left nasty stains on the woman’s hands but everyone has to pitch in for climate change.

Some of her friends are into this new meditation group which meets on Sunday mornings at 10am which is quite a reasonable time on a Sunday as it only lasts an hour or so and you have the rest of the day to feel like you’ve really started off well. There is a wonderful young guru but he insists on not being called a guru but we all call him that secretly and he really is terribly good looking with his white smock and lovely full but carefully trimmed beard. They stretch out on the carpet, the thick carpet that smells faintly of industrial strength cleaners, and they bury their noses in it while their guru exhorts them to breathe and breathe and then really breathe and find the very right place in your innermost being where you really feel at one with the universe and did I leave my new Prada handbag in the beauty room or was it in the kitchen, oh the new kitchen is so divine, we sourced this absolutely riveting marble from Italy but it’s not that Carrara stuff that people on the North Shore have; no, this is really hard to get stuff but the light refracts off it, darling; it refracts, which means that it bounces around, I think so anyway, it’s so divine and everything.

Breathe. One with myself. Let my innermost feelings come over me. I am me and the center of everything. I think that Charlotte is getting a bit big for her boots with her husband’s new promotion, I must see if we can get that sorted out the proper way.

They call it the ‘Woke Club’ and you have to be invited and even then there isn’t room for new members what with the size of the convention room at the yacht club. She wondered if they could meet at her house but the thought of Damien, that was the name of their guru, being in her home filled her with some anxiety that she did not want to explore. Of course she had the space, so much space that she didn’t use or even need but the thing was to have the space in the first instance so that you could show everyone that you had arrived or at least that you were back on top which was so important because everyone was constantly judging and it was simply exhausting to stay in front of everything. But she had the space which meant that the club could meet at her house, and Porscha had even intimated it in a very not subtle way, it had been so outrageous but what do you expect with a woman who got to where she is by being a pharmaceutical sales rep.

Iiiiinnnnnnnnn and ooooouuuuuut … breathe through the nostrils … fill your lungs in groups of three, three parts to your lungs, fill them all up, right to the top … and breeeeeeaaaaaaaattthhe … that’s the way … you’re in the right place now, nobody can touch you … you’re safe and secure … the bugmen won’t get you here.

Italy or Greece this winter? Or maybe Crete, I’ve heard that there is a really most terribly expensive hotel there that has just opened but will let us take Ooodles the dog. But someone said Sicily because you can watch the refugee boats passing and wave to the poor refugees packed onto the decks. So brave, so very brave. So daring and just. Yes, they must be given their human rights, there is no doubt about it. It’s every human right to enter any country at all, how could it not be otherwise?

The best thing about the new house, of course, is the modern security system. And the wall is simply outrageous, the local council had a fit, but we managed to placate the darlings with a donation to their new recycling initiative. We made the front page of a glossy because our new garage has a built in recycling station and a lift so that the help don’t have too much trouble carting everything down there. So wonderful to be so careful with what one does with everything. Janice’s youngest wants to join something called Extinction Rebellion and she is so proud just so long as it doesn’t interfere with her modeling career. I mean, she busted her bones toting the girl around to agency after agency so it has to pay off sometime. Still, if she gets that with the rebellion thing then she’ll have amazing stock in the club.

I am me, I am me, I am me. It really is the answer to everything. All done now. You get up off the carpet with a big smile and then you toss your naturally blonde hair, but only one movement with a single hand because else is just show ponying. The collection box is coming around. remember to look casual when you put in your donation. A fifty is just right as anything else would be ostentatious. My God, Porscha put in a hundred. The woman simply has no class. Probably still votes Liberal. Miserable woman.

Say your goodbyes and head outside into the bright sunshine. It really is a most marvelous way to begin a Sunday. I wonder if the sun is too hot for November. It must be so. Wave at Daniel. Now turn quickly and walk down the gravel drive. There’s nothing worse than the yachtie Sunday lunch crowd. One simply must have standards after all.