From the Daily time waster I found this image of a then 19 year old Lauren Becall on the set of her first movie, To Have and Have Not. In the scene she’s putting the moves on her co-star, Humphrey Bogart.
The two had already fallen for each other as is rather obvious in the clip; she’s not acting there, and neither is he. Bogey was 45, almost 30 years her senior. They married, had children, and remained together until his death from cancer 12 years later. Until her own death Becall referred to her first husband as the greatest love of her life and her greatest marriage.
I like how Bogey pulls her towards him, into his frame. And by doing so she is forced to give up her act. To look at him, Bogey wasn’t imposing in a physical sense; diminutive even. He wasn’t conventionally handsome either. But he had a supreme aura of confidence which at that level you cannot fake. He was Bogey and any woman had to come into his world.
The relationship was a great scandal at the time. Today, I presume that it would be of even greater proportions. It puts the lie to what women think men are attracted to and reveals our true desires – youth and beauty. But also something else. She worships him and as such he values her.
Rollo has a new article up about respect.
So, basically, if I wanted a girl to be intimate with me I had to feign respect for her because she’s a girl? The Blue Pill teaches men, yes, and the better you are at pretending it the more a woman will appreciate you. This is where the debasement of Respect (as an ideal) in our feminine-primary social order begins. Unmerited respect for women only reinforces the Women are, Men must become principle. Men must become, men must qualify, men must perform. As such, male respect is something that is almost always in flux. Women’s respect just is, and thereby female respect is something more static.
Bogey doesn’t respect Becall here. He desires her and wants to possess her, but respect isn’t in the picture. And what can he respect? She’s a 19 year old girl on the set of her first movie.
Men must indeed perform and qualify, but not for women. Rather, we qualify as regards to other men. How we are accepted by other men and the male world at large establishes us in a male hierarchy which women then use to decide for whom to make themselves attractive and desirable.
Or at least that’s how it used to work. But now with the feminisation of the workplace to the extent that insulting a woman is now a slanderous offense, the basis for male and female selection strategies has been thrown out the window.
But I am here to say that if you transform the public square by transforming its masculine Culture of Insult into a feminine Culture of Complaint you no longer have a public square.
In fact, women do not like the public square. They tried, with “I am woman, hear me roar” of the Seventies. But now women complain about “microaggressions” and demand safe spaces.
Women do not want to live and work in the public square. They want — they expect — to be protected from harm and live in a comfortable private world that is free from masculine insult. So long as they are “chaste” — in the broadest sense — then women expect to be coddled and protected. And their actions, from cancel culture to diversity and inclusion, prove it.
But women are no longer chaste as the ubiquity of sites like Tinder attests to. The only reason in the past to respect a woman was for her chastity. And men are no longer brave, which is what they want from us. It’s not just the man buns and the desperate search for courage in the never ending ritual of getting another tattoo. It’s the fact that men are scared of upsetting women.
Did I say the right thing? Did I ask her correctly? What will she think of me? What will she think of me?
Bogey didn’t care what Becall thought of him. He just pulled her in. This is how it is, sweetheart. How about you and I go check out the town together? I know a good place where they serve nice drinks. Grab your coat, I’ll meet you outside.
And then he walks out and lights a cigarette and he doesn’t have to wait long either. Because he knows that she’s coming out and she knows it too. And that delights her.
I could watch that movie clip all goddamn day.