As a result of the ongoing bushfires, Australia is on everyone’s lips all around the world. This presents a conundrum for Australia, as on the one hand we don’t want our country to go up in smoke, but on the other hand the Australian media and political class are so slavish as to any attention from the rest of the world that they just won’t want this to end.

I mean, the last time that the world took any notice of Australia was when Sydney hosted the 2000 Olympics, and two decades is a long time to go between bouts of having the captain of the football team even notice that you exist.

The world is noticing Australia at the moment because of climate change. Because that’s the answer for everything nowadays. I reckon school must be pretty easy for the kids now. Final high school science exam? Piss easy, mate. Just stick climate change on every blank space after a question mark and you’re golden. Full points for you, cobber. The Guardian has breathlessly got into the act, like the school slut who’s just emerged from behind the woodwork sheds after blowing the chess team for a bottle of prosecco.

Australian bushfire crisis: global figures and media react to ‘climate emergency’.

In other words, nobody with a clue about anything.

Hillary Clinton, Greta Thunberg and Bernie Sanders among those responding to Australia’s unprecedented fires

By responding they mean, mouthing off and saying absolutely nothing of any value on a subject of which they understand absolutely fuck and all.

Let me just put it out on the record so that it is clear and done and dusted. Climate change did not cause these bushfires. What caused these bushfires is three decades of government failure to stand up to environmental terrorists. The greenies are the ones that caused these fires. The same greenies that hounded governments to stop back burning in state forests. The same greenies that petitioned weak governments to ban cattle grazing in state forests and high alpine pastures. The same greenies that ceaselessly hounded governments to lock up more areas as state forest and national parks and then agitated to change the laws so that over time the Australian people have been effectively locked out of our own bush land.

Go into any national park in Australia and it will be via a sealed road that ends at a nice touristy spot where you can snap photos and buy some postcards and a stuffed koala. But go into the park itself? Drive your 4WD in there? Are you mad? You can’t anyway, because they either bulldozed all the access roads or stopped maintaining them so that they may as well have been bulldozed. You see, the greens want the Australian landscape to revert back to its natural form, before us horrible Europeans arrived to stuff everything up.

Let me tell you about the natural form of unmanaged forests and open country in Australia. It burns, all of it. There are many native plant species in Australia that are only able to germinate if the seeds have been burnt to a crisp. The whole lot is designed to burn. So if you leave it to go back to what it was 50,000 years ago, then you get really big bushfires. Because of all the fuel. It’s the fuel load, you morons.

Every time some green lunatic chains himself to a tree, what he’s doing is providing more fuel for the fire. Save the trees translates into, let’s burn down everyone’s houses. What we’re seeing is the end point of this in action. What should happen from this point on, is that every self-identifying greenie or environmentalist should be run out of these towns strapped to railroad spikes while covered in the very smelly corpses of dead koalas that were fried to a crisp.

You can’t blame this on climate change, not only because it’s not a thing. If it were climate change that caused this, then why aren’t there massive fires in Saudi Arabia? I mean, it gets really quite hot there, or so I’m told. Oh, that’s right; there’s no fuel load in that part of the world because the last known tree was eaten by a starving camel.

The Australian fires have been directly caused by environmental terrorists. And the only way that we will be able to adequately protect our properties and even lives in the future will be by directly appropriating the blame where it belongs. Greenpeace, The Wilderness Society, and every other environmental organisation need to immediately be classified as terrorist groups and treated as such. They are a clear and present danger to the Australian people, and I’ll be fucked if they’re going to scurry out of this one by bleating climate change as the culprit.

But they’re trying, as we speak they are trying. The ABC has been caught out attempting to remove articles from it’s website that covered protesters agitating to stop fuel reduction burns only a few months ago in the very same areas that are now going up in smoke. The media and the government, and most certainly Greta sockpuppet, are not on our side. I couldn’t give two shits what they think about Australia. It’s one thing to have your country burn down due to lunatic greenie environmental laws and regulations, but it’s another thing entirely when those same terrorists attempt to use this to push the climate change hoax. Talk about adding insult to injury.

So now you’re all straight on the topic. And why don’t you learn from our negative experience? Begin dealing with greens in the way that they deserve and in the only way that gets through to them.

Zero fucking tolerance.