The hawt chicks & links comes to you a little late this week, but better late than never, wouldn’t you say, old sport? Old chum? Reminds me of this girl that I once knew who disdained reading Shakespeare because she claimed that he was just a mess of cliches. The girl had a point. She was also a leggy blonde with good shoulders and posture, which is somewhat of a tautology because all broads with good shoulders have good posture. The two go together like gin and lime. Yee gods, another cliche.
She was somewhat dim, which was a plus, but she considered herself to be twee sophisticated, which was not. However, her habit of looking rather smashing while attempting to disdain the plebs let her off the hook, at least for a while. But all things shall pass and she passed faster than a rather unsettling meal that I once consumed in a Chinese restaurant in a back alley off Gabba road in Kampala. Which was fairly close to where I met her.
What she was not was a redhead. There was a plaintive call last week, a desperate and unnerving plea for more redheads to be featured on the hawt chicks & links. I found it strange that we should try to feature more redheads as we have never featured a single one at all. The scientific case against redheads has already been made, and equivocally at that. But from an attractiveness viewpoint I cannot bring myself to smear these beautiful pages with a ginger for the simple reason that they are not attractive.
In a wonderful coincidence of timing, this week Kim published a pictorial servitude to redheads. Viewing the associated images, one gets the impression of women in desperate need to get the most out of their very limited assets. I once described an unfortunate woman as being of the type that wears uncomfortable clothes. These women seem to be of a similar bent. Take the lass lying prostrate on some sort of divan. She is wearing no clothes at all but she looks to be about as comfortable as a bowler being tossed the ball on his first professional cricket match.
Not only will I never show a ginger here, I won’t even show a black and white shot of a ginger. And that is because I have standards. And unlike so many out there, I actually hold myself to them. The rest of you can remain assured that no redheads will grace these pages while I am in charge. We shall leave that chore to the deviants among us.
Enough blathering, on with the show.