At its core the Chinese pox has been a non-event, a poor starter in the field, tumbling to last in the golden slipper virus stakes. It trails the field so very badly that one would almost feel compelled to urge it to stop, to desist from continuing to embarrass itself. Its measly mortality rates are surely the stuff of epic limericks, hardly suited to the giddy heights of an outbreak of smallpox or the black death.

But in its poor performance hides hints of some could have beens. It coulda’ been a contender. And had it got its infectious act together, why, the results might have been out of this world.

Consider that initially the obese were in grave danger to succumbing to its lethal charms. If you were overweight, you were in trouble. No pleas of fat acceptance were likely to counter the very real problem that emerged from devoting your life to being a fat and unhealthy pile of lard when the virus came a knockin’. Most hilarious for me were the pathetic cries of woe from the American black community that this was a racist virus as it targeted their over represented demographic in lard arses and mighty bottoms, seemingly unaware that the contagion had already demonstrated a liking for Chinese males.

About that.

When you think of random Asian men, the image of Bruce Lee is not one that immediately springs to mind. More often than not we’re talking about some limp wristed plasma soy loiterer, the kind who could not grow a resemblance of a beard if his 5″5′ life depended upon it. The Asian folks invented soy and tofu and all those other horrendously unappealing, unappetizing, and more importantly, neutering proto-foods of which they are so dependent.

Have soy will trade in testosterone. There’s a reason that the term ‘soy boy’ has become a useful slur in this day and age, particularly when you consider the unmasculine and pathetic girly boys masquerading as men on our side of the fence.

Coronavirus: Male patients with low testosterone levels more likely to die, study suggests.

Study suggests is normally good enough to wipe the bottom of your cat’s neighbor’s dentists’ half sister’s moronic neutered orangutan. But in this case I’ll give it a pass.

Male coronavirus patients with low testosterone levels face a greater risk of dying from the virus, research suggests

Global death figures currently indicate that men are more likely to die from Covid-19 than women, though scientists have yet to establish why.

The first two sentences are enough, both in establishing the crux of the story and demonstrating, once again, why the mainstream anything is dumber than a bag of gravel.

Think about it; this virus could have killed off all the soy boys and fatties. If it also had included women with blue hair, we’d have been free and clear. This virus was not just genetically engineered; it was dreamed up by someone who really didn’t like a fairly good portion of our collective enemies. Oh yes, some oldies would have kicked the bucket too. But that’s what oldies do and do well. Death is something that we’re all pretty perfect at the very first time round. And oldies are the gold medal winners. Talk about should have been willing to take one for the team.

Disappointing. So close and yet, so far.